Vegeta½
by mkh2
Summary: Vegeta finds himself getting talked into going to China with Goku, whereupon he finds himself falling into one of the cursed springs, turning him into a girl (Ranma ½, anyone?) What sort of antics do the two go through with an onnafied Vegeta?
1. Vegeta½ – onward ho to China!

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Basically a one-shot that got separated into three parts, partially because I've got a headache and partially because my mother is an overbearing jerk, among some other things that I can not put up because FF . net  will probably suspend me…. grr… and here I was so worried about her. Guess that teaches me… but I digress.

Bleh! And if that isn't enough, this chapter got deleted earlier, so now I have to rewrite the whole thing. Here goes nothing!

~

Disclaimer: camera points to a stage with a mike covered podium front and center: :mkh2 walks to the podium, taps on a mike: "Squuuueeeeeeaaaaaaalll!!" Eh heh, oops. Um, I'd just like to state for the record that, no, DragonballZ and related characters do not, I repeat, _do not­_ belong to me. They belong to the genius of Akira Toriyama. Thank you. :walks off stage: *squeak squeak squeak* Durn shoes!

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta rolled about in bed, dangling an arm over the side before finally deciding to get up. "I'm tired but I can't sleep so I might as well get something to eat before I start training – just a light snack." Jumping into some clothes he had tossed over his chair the previous night, he headed down to the kitchen.

Two plates of bacon and eggs, three heaping stacks of pancakes with butter and syrup, eight slices of toast, two jugs of orange juice and milk respectively (no, not blended together! …ew) and one sunny-side up egg later, he got up to train, only to find Goku crouching down on the table to look at him.

"Hi 'Geta, had a snack, huh? You wanna go train?"

Vegeta blinked. "Kakkarrotto… what do you think you're doing on the kitchen table?"

Goku gave his trademark grin, complete with his patented "arm-behind-the-head" move. "Well, I used instant transmission and…"

"Never mind, that explains it."

"Yeah, and the butter stain on my knee."

Vegeta sweatdropped. "Right. … Why are you here?"

Goku grinned. "I wanna spar with you. I just heard about these great training grounds located in China and thought, hey, why not – sounds like fun! Plus, I hear there's lots of springs there. So, whaddya say?"

Vegeta glared for all of two seconds before shrugging. "Sure, I'd like a change of pace. Let me get into my training clothes."

"Here, 'Geta, try these on – Chichi made them!" Goku held out some blue clothes. ('Where was he hiding them,' thought Vegeta.) "I think they'll fit you – they're way too small for me and much, much too big for Gohan."

"Fine." Vegeta grabbed them. "I'll go cha—"

"Change when we get there! Let's go now!" Goku grabbed Vegeta's shirt near the shoulder and IT'd over to China. "Hey, this place is great!" he sheered.

Vegeta's eye twitched. "Well, that's swell, baka, but where am I supposed to change?" he growled, shaking the gi at Goku.

"…Um, right here?" Goku pointed to where Vegeta was standing.

"I will NOT have my royal self in a state of undress in front of YOUR baka third class self, Kakarrotto!" Vegeta shouted, desperately trying not to turn red. Taking deep breaths, he paused to think.

"I'll… go find a tree." He turned on his heel and stormed off.

Goku blinked. "What was that about?"

~

Goku and Vegeta, now in the blue gi, had walked over to a small building that was probably for information and asked where the training grounds were. The rotund man blinked at them before telling them where they were. They turned quickly and headed towards them, leaving the man far behind before he realized something.

"…and be careful not to fall in the springs!" he called, but it was too late they were gone.

~

"So Veggie, wanna practice with our balance on the poles?" Goku asked, floating above the springs, looking for a good place to spar. Vegeta, who was floating close to his side, snorted.

"Sure – just don't call me 'Veggie,' 'Bakarrotto,'" he glared. 'Honestly, it's bad enough he calls me 'Geta, does he really have to throw in "Veggie?"'

Goku grinned. "veggieveggieveggie!" he chirped before zooming down to the springs.

"Kakarrotto! You get back here!" yelled Vegeta, giving chase the the larger saiyan.

Goku landed almost daintily on one of the poles sticking out above the springs. "Hummnn, there sure are a lot of springs here, but what's with the poles? Well, they would do good for balance practice." Goku looked up to see Vegeta coming at him from only a few feet away.

"Kyaah?!" squawked Goku, who dashed off to the side. Vegeta's eyes widened in surprise at Goku's sudden movement and just as he turned, he splashed into the water, quickly sinking out of view.

"Waugh!" Goku blinked, darting away from the water that Vegeta had splashed up. "This is wet, isn't it? Whoa – looks cold." Goku hovered a bit over the pool of water when suddenly…

"Blaugh!" a shout rang out as a small figure burst out of the water. Goku jumped back, startled, which looked rather funny since he was already in mid air.

"Beh-lurgh!" the figure shook itself. Goku blinked in surprise. This couldn't be Vegeta… could it? That was the gi and the person definitely had Vegeta's hairstyle, albeit longer, but… Goku stared, scrutinizing the small person. This person was even _smaller_ than Vegeta, the new gi hung loosely on the rather curvaceous (Goku noted with a blush) figure whereas on Vegeta it fit him to a 't'. Wait… that's a woman's body? But, Vegeta's a man… _right?_ Goku continues to stare.

"Ick. This is wet, isn't it? Kakarrotto, I need new clothes," the definitely feminine voice called out then squeaked. The one in Vegeta's gi looked up, panicky. Was that… Vegeta?! It was his face, only… softer, fewer lines, fuller lips, larger eyes – _definitely_ female.

"My voice!" Looks down. "My BODY!"

~owari~

End part 1

Ow, my head still hurts… only this time it's more on top because I ended doing what mother had said – no matter how pointless it was. Afterwards I decided – "I need some fun in my life" – hence I'm mostly done eating a pack of FunDip. Mmm, yummy. I'm still ticked at my mother though. She can be so rude sometimes – I was busy, couldn't she wait?

Bleh.

On a lighter note, I am mostly done putting together this story, but only managed to get this part typed up. SO-oh, expect the rest out this week.

Start: 4:20 p.m., 08/31/2003 

End: 5:04 p.m., 08/31/2003


	2. Vegeta½ chapter 2 – Meet Bejee!

Vegeta ½

~

the second chapter to yet another Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: Bwahahaha! I finally found a full-proof way to make DBZ and all related characters and products mine! ::holds a little bean in the air:: Now, it says here on the directions to take a pot, fill it two-thirds of the way with soil, put the bean in, cover it with an inch of soil and top with peat moss. Water generously. ::follows directions:: Oops – a little spillage here! ::wipes up:: Ah, it should be ready and done to get me what I want in roughly – oh, roughly a thousand years. Dag nab it! ::throws away directions:: Ah well, looks like DBZ and gang won't be mine any time soon. Looks like I'll just have to be content with borrowing the characters, ne? Oh Goku, Bejee, where are you?

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thought

~

Vegeta ½ chapter 2

'Meet Bejee!'

~

"Wait… you… really are Vegeta?" Goku asked, eyes wide and innocent.

"Yes I am Kakarrotto!" snarled Vegeta, shivering lightly from the wet clothes and light, cool breeze. 

"But, but, but you _can't_ be!" exclaimed Goku, shaking his head vehemently.

"And why the HFIL not?" growled Vegeta, eyes narrowing.

"Because – Vegeta doesn't have boobs!" Goku pointed out. "Unless, they aren't real are they?" Goku floated close and… *poke!*

Vegeta turned bright red, mortified. "Dag-frag nib it!" she swore, the words coming out garbled. 'He- he touched me!"

"Oh, they are real, but you curse like 'Geta when he's embarrassed, soo….." Goku frowned thoughtfully. "Hi Veggie!"

After Vegeta finished slapping Goku around the head for touching something which he… she… whatever… was so sensitive about, they went in search of the guide – maybe he knew somethi—

"Hello! Hello! There you are! I been searching for you! Must tell you about cursed springs!"

"Oh, cursed are they?" growled Vegeta, spinning on her heel to face him.

"Ah, I see you already found out, no?"

"We already found out, yes!" chirped Goku, pointing at Vegeta. "Well, at least 'Geta did!"

~

"So, you're saying that, that thing you were yelling about was that the springs were cursed?" Goku asked the poor spring guide.

"Ah, yes," he replied.

"We kinda already knew that!" yelled Vegeta, gesturing to her new body. "It's kinda hard not to notice!"

"Well, you can fix that," said the man.

"What? How?" demanded Vegeta, yanking him up by the collar.

"Simple – hot (or warm) water."

"Excellent." Vegeta dropped the man, tapping her fingers together.

'Creepy – she does that Mr. Burns* thing too well,' thought Goku, shivering slightly.

"Yes, hot water changes back to original form, cold water changes to curse form," said the man, breathing more clearly now.

"What? This is permanent?" Vegeta rounded on him.

"Yes – that's why this such popular training ground – best training when do all possible to not be cursed."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

~

Vegeta grumbled angrily, as she watched Goku set up a fire to try and heat up some water. "This stinks. This stinks big time. This really, really stinks. This – "

Goku sighed. "Maybe we could think up a name for your female form while you contemplate how much this situation stinks."

"Oh, shut up you! This is all your fault!"

"Well, if you hadn't gotten all riled up over a little bit of teasing, you wouldn't have landed in the water in the first place, _Bejee_."

"Bejee? What's that?" Vegeta blinked, tucking her feet under herself.

"Eh, it's sort of a play on Veggie and, ah, _Bijou_," said Goku.

"Bijou? Isn't that French?" asked Vegeta.

"Think so."

"I'm not French! Do I _look_ French? No! I'm saiyajin!" Vegeta snapped.

"Look, it's just an idea, and frankly, Bejee suits you."

Vegeta humphed slightly and looked away. "So, ah, where'd you get the Bijou thing from anyway?"

"Oh, Gohan was trying to flip to the news channel and he came across a bunch of dancing, singing, bouncing, talking hamsters."

"Hey! I'm not a hamster!" Vegeta howled, bright red in fury.

"I know that! But I liked the name – it's cute."

"I'm not cute!" Vegeta grabbed a stone and clenched it in her fist.

"All right, all right, you're 'uncute' – happy?" Goku poked the pot of water. 'Hm, looks like it's finally getting a little warm.' "Ah, Veg – "

"That's even worse!" shrieked Vegeta, chucking the stone and - *sploosh!*

Goku stared in shock. "Vegeta! You just killed the pot! And that water had just gotten warm too!"

Vegeta flushed. "Feh!"

"Fine, fine," said Goku, sitting down tiredly next to the doused fire. "We should at least try to consider a way to cure you of this."

"Right, perhaps another spring?" Vegeta suggested, leaning forward slightly.

"I think we should call Bulma to get her opinion." Goku got up and turned, intent on finding a phone.

Vegeta's eyes narrowed; she jumped and landed feet first on Goku's head. "Waugh!" Goku fell face first in the dirt.

"Listen you! You will _not_ tell Bulma about this – just say that we're going to train here for a while longer. I will _not_ have her seeing me as a _woman!_"

"Isn't that going to be a little hard to hide?" Goku asked. "I mean, you do have some rather big, uh, well, _those._" He poked one.

"Gaah!" Vegeta started slapping Goku over the head. "Don't do that! You should know better!" 

"Hn, yeah – Bulma did say something about that… I haven't done the "pat-pat" test in years!"

"'Pat-pat'?" asked Vegeta, cocking her head to the side.

"Yeah, pat-pat! …don't you know what it is?"

Vegeta shook her head – _what is it?_

"Then, I'll show you!" Goku reached over and *pat-pat*.

Vegeta turned red. "KAKARROTTO!!!!!!!"

"Yipes!" Goku turned tail and ran.

~

Over at the information booth, the little round man watched two giant trails of dust zipping around on the ground, voices coming from somewhere inside them.

"Get back here and fight like a man!"

"Maybe you should be a man first!"

"Dingle bop lap nib it!"

The little man blinked. "Nope, tings never boring around here. Where's my smoothie?"

~Owari~

Well… that was kind of amusing. It was a lot harder to remember what was supposed to be going on in this chapter than originally participated. 'Course, it didn't help that I kept getting sick all week… Feh.

Unfortunately, I have no real concept of how long it took me to write this – less than an hour combined I think (I know it was less than an hour originally…) So, I'm not putting the times on the bottom this time around. 

* I do not own Mr. Burns or any of the Simpson's characters. Never have, never will.


	3. Vegeta½ chapter 3 – ‘Oooo, the plot thic...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Hello everybody, Mikki here. I hope you forgive me for taking forever with this chapter… yeah, yeah, I know, you hate me. Bleh!

Oh, one more thing… somebody mentioned that Goku was supposed to have fallen into the same spring as Vegeta – I meant that was supposed to be for Vegeta ½'s sequel, Goku ½. 

~

Disclaimer: All I want for Christmas is DBZ and Ranma, DBZ and Ranma, oh DBZ and Ranma! All I want for Christmas is DBZ and Ranma, but I am never gonna get it.

Why am I singing a Christmas song for? It's near by birthday! Happy Birthday to… aw, forget it.

Unless you weren't paying attention (highly doubtful unless you ran screaming out of the room when I first started singing [I'm not that bad!]) I don't own DBZ or Ranma ½, where I got some of the idea from (okay, just really the idea for how to turn Bejee into a girl); they belong to Akira Toriyama and Rumiko Takahashi respectively. This goes for all chapters of Vegeta ½, which I've neglected to mention the Ranma ½ part in the other chapters. (I love Rumiko Takahashi's work – currently I'm addicted to her Inuyasha story.)

~

Vegeta ½

Chapter 3 – 'Oooo, the plot thickens' or 'Wait – Goku's smart?!'

~

Vegeta sat on a rock, glaring at Goku's back as he made the phone call.

"Alright, see you then," Goku hung up and turned around to Vegeta.

"Okay, I made the call – we'll leave in a bit," Goku grinned. "We'll just get our stuff together and a sample of the water and go, 'kay Bejee?"

Vegeta glared. "What do you mean we're going back? What's this about getting a sample of water, eh? _And why are you still calling me Bejee?!_"

Goku grinned. "Don't worry – I've already got a story made up for you; the water sample is for Bulma to analyze to see if there is a cure – I'll say it has to do with a… friend of yours who gets nervous about traveling; and the Bejee thing is so I get in the habit of _calling you Bejee and don't screw up around the others."_

Vegeta blinked. "You know, when you talk like that, you almost sound intelligent."

Goku sweat dropped. "Thanks… I think."

"So tell me, what's the story?" Vegeta questioned, pulling her legs up against her chest.

"Ah, _that_ - I'll tell you as we get the water." Goku started walking, motioning for Vegeta to follow. Vegeta hopped off the rock, landing lightly on her feet and trailed after him. "Okay, here's the deal: I decide to head back early while you as in the _male_ you wanted to stay and get in some extra training – you liked the location or something. If they ask me to specify I'll just say I was hungry and not paying attention. ["Naturally," commented Vegeta.] While we were training I found you–"

"_Found_ me?" gawked Vegeta. "What the Enma sort of excuse is that?"

Goku frowned. "_I_ don't see anything wrong with that. Bulma found me when I was a kid and even helped get the papers and such needed to get me registered and everything. Sort of like what she did with you."

Vegeta blinked again. He was _right_ again. "I guess – what else?"

"I'll say that I had found you training, that you're pretty good and all, so you can continue training in this form, though probably at not as high a level as before. Good way to practice ki control though. You can train at slightly higher levels as you go of course. You'll wear the clothes you're wearing now – the outfit I gave you before we left to make the story more believable, make it look like you're just another warrior from Earth."

"Okay, what about my 'friend'?"

"He is a forest dweller who had helped raise "He is a forest dweller who had helped raise _you_ as Bejee growing up – we'll call him 'Mute', say he doesn't like talking much. Also, since the 'accident' with the water, he's been extra hesitant to leave his dwelling place."

"Sounds… good, very good. Kakarrotto, I'm… impressed." Vegeta glanced sidelong at Goku's profile.

"Really, Bejee?" Goku grinned, leaning over her small frame.

"Hn, hai – better remember this, probably won't be saying _that_ again for a very long time, if _ever_," Vegeta looked away, flushing slightly.

"Ha ha, right Bejee. Here, gimme your clothes – I'll be able to hide it better that way," Goku reached out and gently tugged away the clothes. Vegeta grumbled as she let him tuck them under his arm.

"Where you gonna hide it?" Vegeta asked.

"Oh, I've got a spare storage capsule with me; I find that the best way to hide something is to place it in plain view – that way, nobody suspects." Goku smiled brightly at Vegeta before carefully getting a sample of the spring water and storing it in a capsule.

"Aa, I guess," Vegeta stared at the capsules that now contained the water and her clothes. "So, how're we getting back, Kakarrotto?"

"Same way we got here, Bejee," Goku smirked, taking hold of her arm. "I'll use Instant Transmission."

"Sure thing, Brain," snickered Vegeta.

They disappeared from the grounds.

~

"…And that's the deal, Bulma-chan," said Goku. "You'll help her, won't you?"

Bulma, who had a rather thoughtful expression on her face, nodded and looked at the slight girl standing closely to Goku, who seemed to be glaring at her reflection in the mirror. "Of course, Son-chan," she leaned over to Vegeta, "That's a mirror, Bejee, you use it to look at yourself."

Vegeta turned red. "I know that!" she snapped. She turned away angrily and stomped over to Goku. "Can I go train now?" Vegeta was upset that Goku had insisted she stay to listen to the whole ridiculous story and… what's with the "Bulma-chan" and "Son-chan" bit, huh? They were being _very_ chummy, weren't they?

Goku nodded thoughtfully before turning to Bulma. "Bul-chan, is it okay if Bejee uses the Gravity Room since Vegeta's not here? I think she'd really like it – get a kick out of it or something."

Bulma frowned. "I suppose, but if Vegeta gets angry, it's your head, not mine."

Goku did his trademark smile. "Yeah, okay – come on Bejee, I'll show you myself." Putting his hand on Vegeta's shoulder he steered her out of the room.

"Weird girl," murmured Bulma before turning to the sample. "She seemed awful close to Goku –hope she behaves herself around him, after all, Goku's so cute." She smiled, remembering the chibi Goku was when she first met him. "Ha! He always was a cutie."

~

As Goku led Vegeta over to the Gravity Room, Vegeta angrily grabbed Goku's sleeve and pulled him into a nearby bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her.

"Ow, what's your deal, Bejee!" whined Goku as he nursed his banged elbow that smacked into the wall and was now all tingly.

"What's _your_ deal?! "Bul-chan" this and "Son-chan" that… awful chummy, no?" Vegeta glared.

Goku blinked slowly at her before his face burst into a wide smile. "Aw, Bejee, don't be jealous, you have to remember, we've known each other since she found me as kids – that's what we normally call each other when you aren't there since you always make faces when w e do. If I had acted differently to her when you were there, she woulda suspected something. We're old friends, and besides, I'm married. I won't steal Bulma from you."

Vegeta turned about twenty different shades of red. "I'm not jealous! I never said anything about liking that blue-haired onna anyway!" Suddenly a blue sweater the very shade of Buruma's hair sounded very appealing to Vegeta.

"Sure you don't, Bejee." Goku smiled.

"And what's with showing me around my own home, treating me like I'm stupid, hn?" Bejee glared. "I know my way around here!"

"Well, I know _Vegeta_ does, but _Bejee_ doesn't," reminded Goku. "It would seem rather suspicious if you already knew everything, wouldn't it?"

"Fine then, whatever, show me the way," Vegeta sighed. She pushed open the door and stepped out.

"Okay. Hey, just to warn you, Bulma's probably gonna wanna go on a shopping spree with you. You know how she is about clothes," Goku said, closing the door behind him.

"Why should she? I'm perfectly happy with my clothes!" Vegeta snapped.

"But, Bejee, you've only got this one thing. Hey, you got a bug or something on your shoulder," Goku reached over and plucked it off her shoulder.

"Bug!" shrieked Vegeta, jumping into Goku's arms. "Bug! Icky, gross, slimy, wriggly, crawly bug! Get it away! Kill it! Kill it!"

"Aw, Bejee, it's just a lil' caterpillar," blinked Goku lazily at the trembling girl in his arms.

"Oh yeah? Try being buried alive* and then see how much _you like them," hissed Vegeta in Goku's ear._

"Okay, okay, got me there. …Sorry about that, Bejee," said Goku, stepping over the bug and walking around the corner.

~

Bulma stepped back into her lab after seeing Goku and Bejee step around the corner, Bejee still nestled in his arms.

"Hmm, suspicious indeed."

~Owari~

Seems kinda boring to me, but I felt this chapter was necessary, so here you go. Hey, what can I do?

Yes, yes, I know, took me long enough to get another chapter up. Thanks for all your lovely reviews – I enjoy making people laugh. (Tippy: no you don't. you like stealing their cookies and making them cry. Mikki: what are you talking about – that's you. Tippy: oh yeah, it is, isn't it? ::walks away:: Mikki: O.o;; That's Tippy for ya.)

Time took: 1hr 8 mins.

~

Hey, did anybody catch that Pinky and the Brain joke? Anybody? Nobody? Nuts.

~

I only fixed up one word that I discovered I had accidentally deleted before saving and deleting a letter that shouldn't have been there... if you pay attention to the way I worded the sentences, you'll catch the Pinky and the Brain joke. (First person who catches it gets a cookie! Goku: with fish? mkh2: no, no fish. Goku: T-T Pwweeeezzzzeeee??? mkh2: ... Only if they ask for it. Goku: ::cheers:: yay! *v*)

~

*the buried alive piece is referring to the time when Vegeta was killed by Frieza on planet Namek and Goku buried him. When he was wished back to life – intentionally or not – he found himself under roughly a foot of dirt. He was buried under there long enough for some bugs and stuff to start crawling over him, particularly things like worms. I'd be pretty grossed out by the bugs, too, if I had been in that situation. I got the idea he would have felt like that from seeing the episode where Goku and Vegeta are inside Buu's body and they're talking to the worms. Vegeta has never been easily grossed out by anything before and so the facial expressions and his various reactions to the jolly worms suggest a fear. (Whoa, I think I'm reading too much into this again.) Well, it's either that or he just thinks they're gross.


	4. Vegeta½ chapter 4 – the pains of being a

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Huzzah! ::dances/marches around to Bittersweet Symphony by Radiohead:: Mikki is back! Cold's mostly gone and my typing is going strong! ::attempts a Ginyu pose – falls flat on face:: Okay, so not all my natural vivacity is back… however, it looks stupid whether I actually do the pose or fail. So, no biggie! ::slaps Band-Aid on boo-boo:: All better! (except for the cold)

~

Twinkle, twinkle little… hey! That's rude! Come on, my birthday's coming up on the 23rd… Not even a little wish, I mean, Bejee's little, isn't he? … How about the version I made up? Whaddya mean it isn't original enough? . Fine. I wish I had a cookie.

Sighs. Yup, I don't own DragonballZ and the way things are looking ::glares at Twinkle the lil Star:: I won't be getting it anytime soon (especially not for my birthday.) Waah! Ooh, cookie. Chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chewy, chew-chew-chewy…

~

Vegeta ½

Chapter 3 – the pains of being a girl

~

Now we come upon our two favorite heroes sitting in the Gravity Room, ahem, favorite hero and anti-hero, er, anti-heroine. Anyway, these two people were sitting in the Gravity Room, supposedly discussing how to use the various parts of the sophisticated machine. Let's listen in on their conversation…

"So I'm supposed to act like a girl?" Vegeta glared at Goku who was rubbing the back of his awkwardly.

"Well, only a little, I mean, there are such things as tomboys." Goku nodded furiously. "Would be a perfect cover for any 'mistakes' a 'normal' girl would do in, uh, girl-related circumstances and concerning, um, woman's stuff."

"Really, is that right?" Vegeta raised an eyebrow, leaning back on her elbows. Goku tapped a button on the control panel for the Gravity Room, raising the gravity to 1, 2, 3, _4_ so that it kept up appearances.

"Yeah; actually, Chichi was a bit of one when she was younger, but she _was_ kinda obsessed with getting married. When she asked me to get married with her, at first I thought it was some kinda take-out or something."

"Seriously?" Vegeta whipped her head around to stare at him.

"Yeah, I didn't find out what it meant tell I actually got married, and even then I didn't understand until the wedding _night_, but then, when it comes to physical things, I _am_ a fast learner."

"Kakarrotto! Disgusting – that's not something I want to hear coming out of your mouth!" snapped Vegeta.

"Ha ha, sorry Bejee. But hey, what about you and Bulma?" Goku grinned and rolled over onto his stomach so he was facing her.

"I would rather not discuss _that_ in _this_ body," muttered Vegeta dryly.

"Yeah, I understand; anyways, I think Chichi thought that she and I were supposed to be married because I did the pat-pat test on her… I wanted to make sure that I actually brought back a girl to her dad," Goku laughed, reminiscing over childhood memories.

"Wait, you mean you didn't know if harpy was really a girl?" Vegeta's eyes were wide now.

"Well… yeah." Goku glanced 

"Bwahahahaha!" Vegeta went rolling across the floor of the Gravity Room, first one way then the other, crashing into Goku, but laughing so hard she hadn't noticed.

Goku manage to roll over on his back and sat up slightly, Vegeta tumbling into his lap, now red in the face from laughter and lack of oxygen.

"Aw, calm down – at least I hadn't thought she was a monster or a witch."

"Wh-wha- what do yeh-you meh-mee-mean by thuh-that?" Vegeta gasped out, rubbing her face, not carrying that she was sprawled over Goku's legs. 'If Kakarrotto expects me to move after that, he can move me himself – I'm actually tired, and yet…'

The first time I met Bulma, she accidentally hit me with her car. I attacked it, thinking it was a monster, and I kinda thought she was a monster too, until she was fully out." Goku grinned down at the small pink girl who was breathing heavily and turning redder and redder from her efforts to not laugh.

"Reh-really?" Vegeta managed to wheeze out, trying hard not to laugh at the mental image.

"Yeah… then I used the pat-pat test to confirm her claim that she was a girl, only to swing my power-pole* at her thinking she was a witch when she capsulized her broken car."

"Ha ha, ha ho hoo… Man, you really _were_ isolated, huh?"

"Yeah… um, Bejee?" Goku fidgeted nervously.

"Aa?"

"My legs just fell asleep."

Vegeta blinked her eyes, 'wha?'

"Well, tough."

~

Bulma frowned. She had been working hard at trying to decipher the water when her stomach started rumbling. Hey, even busy, beautiful, blue-haired geniuses such as she needed to stop and eat, right? So she had flipped on the telecommunicator to the Gravity Room to invite Goku and Bejee to the kitchen for lunch and she saw them… Goku leaning over Bejee who was lying on Goku's lap, the two talking low, Bejee laughing, tickled pink at whatever Goku had said, being awfully… _chummy_ with each other. Goku started talking about his childhood, "…thought she was a monster or a witch." She watched until Goku started whining at Bejee for not getting off his legs ("If you don't get off, I won't be able to walk! They're all tingly – I can't feel my feet!") and Bejee had started laughing some more.

"Very suspicious," frowned Bulma as she turned off the tele-link. 

~

Goku and Vegeta started walking to the kitchen, Vegeta having demanded having something to eat – it took them ten minutes to get out… Goku was wobbling around trying to get the blood back into his legs and Vegeta… well, Vegeta was laughing at him – and Goku was going to be the one to cook it. Goku protested.

"Seriously – nobody can eat my cooking without turning Piccolo green – no fooling!" Goku rambled, waving his hands around.

"Well, you don't expect _me_ to cook, do you?" Vegeta raised her chin haughtily at him. 'Heh, let's see him get out of this one.'

"Well, what about asking Bunni, Bulma's mom, eh? She's a great cook, and she's always buying tasty treats and – oh, hello Bulma. Down for lunch too, huh?" Goku grinned brightly at Bulma, who was staring at him while slowly chewing her sandwich at the kitchen table.

"Hey, Goku, mind if I talk with you for a second?" Bulma put down her sandwich and stood, motioning for him to follow.

"Ah, sure thing Bulma; Bejee stay here." Goku nodded Vegeta towards the table. Vegeta sat down in the chair next to the one Bulma was sitting in, watching as Goku followed Bulma out of the kitchen.

"So, Bulma, what did you want to talk to – ah– " Goku stopped as Bulma whirled around on him.

"Exactly what are you doing with that Bejee girl?" hissed Bulma.

"Huh-wha?" Goku blinked.

"My sentiments exactly!" Bulma snapped. "Did you forget about Chichi?"

~

Vegeta sat in the kitchen, straining to hear what was going on out there – I say straining because Bunni had bounced in and decided now was as good a time as any to start grinding her special imported coffee beans. *Ker-vwrshzshrrrzzuzgzuhzuhzsh!* Boy, that's one noisy electric coffee bean grinder – probably _not_ a Capsule Corp product.

'Schnapps! What are they talking about out there, something about me… and the harpy?' Vegeta frowned and looked at the plate next to her. Boy, did she mention she felt kinda hungry? Her stomach growled.

'Kakarrotto, hurry up!'

~

"Well??" Bulma glared at Goku.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Goku rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Mind if you specify?"

Bulma gawked at him. "Fine, why were you carrying Bejee around in the hallway, hm?"

"Oh, there was a bug on the floor – turns out she is terrified of bugs, you know the creepy crawly ones… something about one time waking up to find herself covered in them," Goku said smoothly. 'Well, that's not a _complete_ lie…'

Bulma frowned. 'Makes sense.' "Okay, then why was Bejee lying on your lap in the Gravity Room, eh? Awful chummy, no?" Bulma's eyes narrowed at him.

'Déjà vu…' "Well, I was telling her about my experiences as a kid when I was first found… I guess we were comparing our similar backgrounds… and I mentioned how I hadn't known that Chichi was a girl, even mentioned the pat-pat test. She thought it was hilarious and, since she was already on the ground – the Gravity room _was_ on – and at _4_ I might add… enough to flatten a normal person but just enough to tire her out – she just started rolling on the floor laughing. Hey, wait – ROFL! Ha ha – hey, wait… what were you doing spying on us, huh?" Goku frowned at Bulma.

"Why you…" she sputtered. Finally she sighed.

"It's just, well, she seemed really attached to you… and you only just met! What am I supposed to think when you find a beautiful young, amazingly _strong_, girl practically hanging off of your arm and you acting like it's the most natural thing in the world?"

"People hang offa my arms all the time – you did one time you needed an escort at a banquet and Chichi couldn't come cuz she was visiting Gyu-Mao, remember?" Goku frowned. "Besides, I'm really the only one she can relate to, so she feels comfortable around me – I act a lot like her, whether you believe it or not. Anyways, she's a sweet girl, so don't be so suspicious of her." Goku started to head back to the kitchen then paused and looked over to Bulma. "By the way, could you call up the gang? I want them to meet her – I think they'd like her." Goku headed in.

"Ah, Goku, always such a sweetie. Guess I should trust your judgment… you're usually right." Bulma smiled then frowned. "I just hope _she_ doesn't get too attached to you – you'd have a hard time hurting her feelings." Bulma followed, remembering her sandwich.

~

Goku and Bulma stood in the doorway. Three large plates that supposedly held lots of food were lying with only the fewest possible crumbs on them, a happy Bejee leaning back in her chair as Bunni carried another large heaping plate full of food to her. Bulma looked at the plate her sandwich was on – not a crumb left.

"My sandwich!" cried Bulma.

With a content look on her face, Bejee said, "Well, I was hungry." 

~Owari~

Deleted scene:

[Bejee] looked at the new plate. "Ooh! Food!" She started eating like Vegeta.

"My, that girl has a healthy appetite, and so strong, too!" smiled Bunni. "Want anything for desert? I'm got lots of cakes and puddings!"

"Mrph? Mrmhm mrhk mrph?"

"The special for today is carrot cake!" chirped Bunni.

Goku burst out laughing as Bulma face-faulted. "Gak!"

~

Well, that's it for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed! Off to write more "Thunk!" and "Hey! What's with the growling?" Merry reading!

Ciao ~ mkh2

(Tippy: (flat voice) Mikki, for your upcoming birthday, I will sing you a birthday salutation

mkh2: Uh-oh… I think know what it is. ::crosses fingers:: please no, please no.

Tippy: ::clears throat:: Ahem. ::pulls out harmonica:: *phweet!*

   Happy birthday to you

   Happy birthday to you

   You look like a small hairy primate

   And you smell like one to.

      Congratulations for your advancing of a year. 

mkh2: (ssarcastically) Oh, joy, that really moved me.

Tippy: but of course… where you moving to?

mkh2: ::face faults:: Ghk!

~

power-pole* does anyone remember the Japanese name for this? I completely forgot! If you know, please tell me!

Also, has anyone caught the Pinky and the Brain reference in Vegeta ½ chapter 3? The first one to find it gets a cookie! (unless Tippy eats them all – glares at Tippy. Tippy: ::mouthful of cookie:: whaaaaa???)

~

Start: 9:25 p.m., 09/17/2003

End: 10:47 p.m., 09/17/2003


	5. Vegeta½ chapter 4 – bonus chapter

Bejee bonus chapter…

…for those who care

~

In accordance with FF.net's new regulations:

includes "Inspiration behind Vegeta ½" and "'veggie's boo' review" at bottom

~

Disclaimer: as always, DBZ and related products do not belong to me… the most I have are some posters, key chains, DVDs, video tapes… nothing much, really… So, ya see, since I'm quite obviously a poor college student squandering her college tuition on DBZ stuff, I don't own it. Yet. Who know, maybe Santa will leave the rights to me under the Christmas tree. ::crosses fingers::

~

Obviously there was a lot of time spent over in China that hadn't been made mention of in the other chapters. After all, Vegeta was up very early – crack of dawn early – and not even an hour later he and Goku were faced with the odd situation of Vegeta being the amazing gender-switching man. However, and this goes pretty much unsaid, since Goku and Vegeta were at Bulma's around lunch, they had spent quite a few hours in China. Here are some little blurbs of what went on behind the scenes, between the "pat-pat" test and Goku's plotting of passing off Veggie as Bejee.

~

She put her, now rather small, fist to her cheek and half-noticed Goku do in kind across the campfire. Sighing briefly, not quite noticing how Goku also did the same, she put her other fist to her other cheek and rested both elbows on her knees, slouching.

Okay, she noticed when he did it that time.

"What, Kakarroto?" she growled out.

"Ah, Bejee, you wanna practice?"

"Practice what?"

"You know, you wanna learn how to be a girl, right?"

"Why did I agree to be a girl again?"

"You didn't have much choice, you know, after you fell in the water…"

"That's now what I mean, idiot! I mean, why am I going to pretend to be some anonymous girl in my own place of dwelling?"

"Eh… you mean 'house,' right?"

"_Kakarrotto…_"

"Er – right – 'place of dwelling!' We decided to go with that idea because over all it is easier to avoid hot or warm water than cold water."

"What about taking a bath?"

"What, do you normally take a bath with another person?"

"…point taken." Vegeta leaned back and tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing Goku from across the tiny campfire they had made. "Fine then, Kakarrotto: make a woman out of me."

"_Be- Be- Bejee!_ Can't we just stay friends?"

Goku woke up five minutes later with quite a large headache and singe marks all over the front of his gi.

~

"Now, Bejee, let's see your walk." Gok

"My _what_?"

"Your walk. The way you move. The poor man's mode of transportation. The way you move. The way you go. Your signature gait. Now march!"

Grumbling under her breath, Vegeta stomped along the dirt, soliciting a moan and yell from Goku.

"No, no, _no!_ That's all wrong! Women don't walk like that – you walk like you've got a stick up your – ah, I mean, you seem sort of … '_anal retentive_,'" shouted Goku rushing to stop Vegeta before she flattened the dirt anymore.

"'Anal retentive?'"

"Ah, I've heard Bulma use it once or twice," smiled Goku cheesily. _'Yeah, always about _you_.'_

Vegeta grumbled. "Well, you show me how to walk correctly, if you're so smart."

"Gladly," nodded Goku, and he did just that.

Vegeta barely caught her jaw before it hit the ground.

"Uy… How'd you do _that?_" Vegeta squawked, staring at Goku who sauntered back over to him, putting just the right amount of shake into his hips to give himself a more feminine air without it being disturbing.

"I grew up around women – Bulma, Launch – who tended to go after guys. I've seen them practice."

"They _practice_ how to _walk_?" Vegeta gaped in disbelief.

"Sure – they said it's to help snag a guy. Besides, when you've been married as long as I have, you tend to notice these things." Goku grinned.

"Notice?"

"Yeah… in fact, Chichi did it a whole lot right up till we had Gohan… she doesn't it do it quite so much anymore, but when she does…"

"Stop right there. I do not want to hear anymore," Vegeta groaned, going slightly green in the face.

"What, I just was going to say that– "

"No, I don't want to hear it."

"Fine, suit yourself," Goku shrugged. _'I was just going to say that she wanted _jewelry_ or something.'_

~

"Lemme see your hands." Goku stuck his hand out, waiting for Vegeta to give him her hands.

Vegeta blinked at Goku's hand and then looked at her own. Lifting them, she waved it a bit at Goku's face before placing her hands back in her lap.

"Ve-_ge_-ta…" groaned Goku, and reaching over, plucked both her hands out of her lap and placed them on his knees, leaning over to look at them.

"Whaa—Kakarrotto? Leggo my hands!" snapped Vegeta, starting to pull them back.

"Ya know, I think we need to give them a bit of a manicure, you kinda ruffed them up a bit with all the roughhousing we've been doing." Goku squinted an eye thoughtfully at a pinky nail.

"I'm a martial artist! Of course they're going to get scuffed up!" Vegeta grumbled, pulling her hands away. "I'm not going to let you give my hands a 'manny-can' or whatever… you'll screw them up."

"Fine, we'll just build the whole martial arts thing into your image, make you a tomboy… it'll be easier to work with." Goku rubbed his chin in thought. "You still have to work on your walk though."

Vegeta groaned.

~

"It's been an hour! Can I stop walking now?" Vegeta whined – yes, _whined_. She hated to admit it, but this walking deal was tiring. And to think that women walked like that all day! They were a lot stronger than given credit for.

"I'm sorry! It's just that you walk so stiff. Like you're in the army or something."

"I was trained to walk like that!"

"No, I've seen you walk – it's this eerie kind of glide – I guess this is the female version of your glide… somewhere between 'graceful' and 'stick in the mud,'" Goku nodded.

"Ehhhh…" gurgled Vegeta, slumping over so that his arms hung at his sides limply.

"To bad there isn't any DVD players around here – I could play you this one scene of 'Some Like It Hot' – great movie."

"'Some Like it Hot?'" Vegeta blinked.

"Um, this movie is about two guys who are on the run from the mafia go in drag and end up with this touring all girl troupe of musicians…"

"What? What sort of movie is that supposed to be? And here all your friends thought you were so innocent!"

"No, no, it's not like that! It's a good movie – one of the best comedies ever made… It's just this one scene with the main girl lead—"

"Which guy is that?"

"Wha–? No, Bejee, the real-girl girl lead, some blonde, has this great walk – Bulma says so – if you studied it I bet you could get it down perfect."

Vegeta blinked thoughtfully. "Uwaa… no. If it's a great walk, and if I do, as you say, do it perfectly, then wouldn't it clash with the martial-artist-tomboy image?"

"Ohh…" pouted Goku. "But I wanted to see Bejee do the walk…"

"Not on your life, Kakarrotto!" roared Vegeta, cheeks turning a rather becoming shade of pink.

Goku sighed. "Okay, then… does Bejee want to see me do the walk again?"

"Okay, now pay close attention to the positioning of my body and my movements, particularly the hips – this is very important," and Goku strutted back and forth over the ground, Vegeta paying close attention to every detail.

"Ah… these honored visitors are most strange," sighed the guide as he passed on the way to go find some other lost tourist. "One have look like girl, the other have move like girl. It very distressing to this poor guide."

~Owari~

::sighs:: I can never quite get the guide right…

"Some Like It Hot" does not belong to me… I don't even have the movie! ::sobs:: Everybody go watch it now! Er… after you finish reading this, I mean.

Hope you've enjoyed this bonus chapter, see below for the removed "chapters of "Vegeta ½."

.

.

.

And now, in accordance with FF.net's new regulations:

==================

Inspiration behind Vegeta ½

~

Hi! Recently updated. This is just a little, uh, "alert," for what, I don't know, but I wanted to put it up. Also, the next segment might be interesting for those of you who are curious as to why I started writing this ficcy in the first place. So here you go.

~

Oh wait! One more thing. I made lotsa cookies (since Tippy ate all the others) and since I'm feeling generous right now, I'm going to give out a bunch of cookies to all of you who got it right.

Chuquita (you get two cookies for being first to respond and mentioning the nyo-bo… when I remember, I'll correct it ^.^;;)

Also: Spencers13, kitkat, and Kinosei. Each of you – have a cookie!

~

Well, truth to tell, it wasn't just Chuquita and the other fanfic writers on the net who gave me the inspiration behind this, and it wasn't Ranma ½ either. No, what really got me to do this was… it was one of the last new DBZ episodes. I was sitting down watching it and my mom was sitting in the next chair over. I was suddenly struck by how effeminate Goku in SSJ3 looked and I commented on it to mummy-dearest. .

Mikki: Hey Mom, doesn't he look kinda, you know, feminine?

Mom: Yeah, especially with that chest?

Mikki: Uh… wha–?

Mom: Well, look at him… looks like he has boobs.

Mikki: ::blinks:: … Um, Mom… I was talking about his face… even if he doesn't have any eyebrows.

Mom: Well, it still looks like he has big boobs.

Mikki: Mom! Please… can't you say _breasts_ or _chest_ for once?!

(On screen was a close-up of Goku – this was on my DVD, but I decided to check out the English version – and his head was tilted down. I had put in on pause and you could seem some of his shoulders and chest area. I still can't figure out if she meant it was because he had a really bulky chest all powered up ^^;;)

Yup… that's my Mom for you. O.o

~

Yes, I have to give great thanks to Chuquita (what with Kayka and Veggilina (sp?) and all) and also to Ryukodomo and various others fanfiction authors, all of whom have provided me with many hours of entertainment.

And a hearty thanks to Akira Toriyama and Rumiko Takahashi, to whom belong DragonballZ and Ranma ½ respectively, and without whom we wouldn't have these wonderful characters and plotlines (and in many cases lots of plot holes – _thanks Akira_.)

To you two wonderful manga-ka, long may you both draw!

==================

Vegeta ½ Author's Note – "veggie's boo" review

Well, well, well…

I just received a rather… rude review that went as follows (a copy-paste job):

The following review has been submitted to: Vegeta½ Chapter: 1From: veggie's boo() 

you ain't notin' but a fake cause tahat fic is already out BITCH

I must say that I had done nothing of the sort and that this hooligan has the grammar and spelling skills of a third-grader. No, wait, that would be insulting third-graders. Truth to tell, if "veggie's boo" is suggesting that I might be ripping it off, say, Red Kasei's "Kakarotto½," Miyanon's "Onnafied," or perhaps even Callimogua's "Veggie Girl 3 0" I can say assuredly that I did not copy it. Now if maybe he/she/it had given me a reference as to _where_ I had taken it from… can't imagine where at all since my writing style is my own and I don't really know of other people who would call Vegeta 'Bejee.'

If someone has the gall to suggest that I would do something as heinous as copying or plagiarizing, please be sure to have the proof/evidence to back up your hollow words.

Thank you,

mkh2


	6. Vegeta ½ Chapter 5 Curiouser and curiou...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Sorry for taking so long… I did put up one other one-shot while I was writing this… I was sick and had a headache – forgive me!

~

Disclaimer: Mikki: No, no! You can't make me! 

Tippy: then I'm telling mom to sell all your manga!

Mikki: QoQ … alright, alright, I'll say it… DragonballZ doesn't belong to me, neither does Ranma ½ (where I got the cursed-springs / hot-cold water gimmick from…) They belong to their respective owners. 

Tippy: good, now you can have a cookie!

Mikki: Yay! ::blinks:: Hey, wait a minute – this is already my cookie.

Tippy: Heh heh heh…

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 5 - Curiouser and curiouser…

~

Vegeta sighed and poked at the salad on her plate. She was only given a regular dinner like the rest of the ningens at the table (Bulma, her parents, and Kuririn who happened to stop over) while Goku had his regular plate. Bejee had eaten two portions of steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob, and a small thing of applesauce, yet that just wasn't enough, not even with her now smaller, feminine-sized stomach. She glared enviously at Goku's plate, now heaping with lasagna and apple strudel. 'Durn him… durn him to heck!' Her fork slammed down into the salad again, decimating a crouton.

Goku paused in mid-chew and glanced over at Vegeta's plate. He blinked his eyes – her salad was still there.

"Hey Bejee, just finish your salad and then you can go, or you can have some desert." He nodded his head encouragingly as he swirled his fork in the whipped cream that was sliding off the strudel. "It's good for you, and if you get to the strudel, you'll feel even better!"

"I don't like salad," she muttered, shoving another helpless crouton to the edge of the plate where it teetered precariously.

"Maybe you need a little help? It's already swimming in three kinds of dressing (ick!) so, what's wrong? Just open your mouth and chew," Goku gestured with his fork, mimicking eating the salad, before scooping up half of the lasagna. Bulma and gang looked at the exchange between the slight auburn-haired girl and the tall dark-man. If it wasn't for the grumpy look on the girl's face, you'd say they were friendly… maybe a little too friendly. Bulma's parents looked on obliviously though Bulma and Kuririn glanced at each other worriedly.

"C'mon, eat up!" Goku smiled and nodded.

Vegeta growled. "I refuse!"

"Bejee, eat your veggies!" Goku frowned and, grabbing her fork from Vegeta, stabbed up some of the leafy greens and held it in front of her face. "Then you can have desert."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No no no!"

"Yes yes yes!"

"No no n-rmph!" Vegeta almost gagged when Goku, finally fed up, shoved the fork in her mouth. "Mmhm?" Goku sighed and picking up a crouton, shoved it between her lips.

"Croutons are good too."

Vegeta glared at him angrily and, after chewing hurriedly, swallowed. She blinked her eyes. "Fine, just so you don't do that again, I'll eat it." She hurriedly shoveled it in her mouth and soon had a clean plate.

Goku looked away, rolling his eyes. "Cheez… fine, suit yourself – just don't go so fast you choke."

Vegeta nodded, a slight flush on her cheeks. She wasn't about to tell him she thought it tasted good. Her pride wouldn't allow it.

"Now, for some desert…"

Goku grinned. "Sorry Bejee – you took so long I ate it all… the only desert left is the little bit I have on my plate," he teased, showing the apple strudel topped with whipped cream and slowly melting French vanilla ice cream, Vegeta's favorite in the whole wide world.

"No! Give it here!" Vegeta jumped up and reached for it. Goku burst into laughter and, leaping out of his chair, started running around the kitchen, Vegeta hot on his heels. "Kakarrotto!"

~

Bulma and Kuririn were down in the lab, Bulma showing him the sample of cursed water that she was studying. Kuririn kept going on and on about the "dinner show" they had watched, thinking it the funniest thing he had seen in quite a while.

"…Then when she tackled him and they both went sliding out the kitchen and he was on his stomach and she was riding on his back like he was a toboggan – ha! And then she started eating the strudel right out of the plate with his fork and he burst out with the whining that it was his and she was just slow but she started saying that if she was so slow she wouldn't have been able to catch him and… Bulma? Bulma? Bulma, are you listening?"

"Don't you think it was odd how he didn't knock her off him, or how she kept calling him Kakarrotto?" Bulma frowned, biting her thumbnail.

"Well, I figure that Goku is still reacting to such things because, as you remember, his Grandpa told him that you were supposed to always treat girls nice and service the ladies, and the Kakarrotto bit was probably because Vegeta was probably there when he found Bejee."

"Maybe… still, don't you think the two were a little… too… _chummy_?" Bulma peeked over at Kuririn.

Kuririn lowered his head thoughtfully. "Well, Goku likes everybody… no problem there, however… the girl… she doesn't seem to like people much and yet was very… friendly… with Goku."

"Goku had claimed that was because he was raised in a similar situation and is better able to relate."

Kuririn nodded. "That makes sense… anything else?"

Bulma tapped thoughtfully at her nose. "Oh yeah! Goku said we should invite the gang over… see how they like her."

Kuririn blushed. "She's pretty… they'll like her…"

Bulma nodded her head and turned to the computer. 'Still, I can't help thinking that something is off here. It's so… suspicious.'

Kuririn continued with his rambling. "Oh yeah, and I especially liked her little victory dance on Goku's head – good thing it's such a hard head…"

~Owari~

Hello, all! Mikki here… wow, it's been a while since I updated. I haven't got any of those five durn teeth removed yet, but I'm over the sickness and swollen thing… Boy, that was a nuisance. Nobody seemed to notice the swollenness, but I guess it was just going inward… so I would end up biting my cheek all day.

Yay! I got a new Petshop of Horrors book… number 3. Count D is so cute! (Kinda reminds me of me and sweets, just not quite as extreme. However, I'm by no means a vegetarian – I like beef!)

~

The "no no no" scene was inspired from something I remember Mom telling Tippy and me about my learning to speak when I was little. My first word just happened to be "no," which coincidentally made it frustrating when I went to the store. Sometimes my mom would ask me if I wanted something to eat – generally something I really liked – and I would put on my most determined face and say… "no." Naturally, my "no" meant "yes" but Mom, being Mom, would start to put it back, saying, "so, no, you don't want it?" And chibi-me would panic and reach out to the box of whatever yummy thing I wanted crying "no no no no no!" until I finally got my goodie. Boy, Mom sure was mean sometimes.

~

Time? What time? Didn't pay attention ::whistles innocently:: It was more than 2 hours I think… I did half on one computer and the other half on another… But it was definitely less than 3. Man, and I sure did have a headache on the first half (it's what took so long.)

~

Ha! I'm having a field day with Jingle Bells… In a mistletoe-smooch-fear-crazed-mushy-brained mindset, Vegeta ends up shrieking "I LOVE YOU TOO!" before returning to normal, and instead of doing his usual melting scene, he instead became so hot he burned Goku's hands. ::blinks eyes:: I don't even know why I mentioned this… It isn't anywhere near Christmas…


	7. Vegeta ½ chapter 6 – Bejee and Bulma – A...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Okay, just a little note – all five wisdom teeth are gone! Strangely enough there was almost no pain so I'm not really using the pain relievers. Mostly, I just have an earache and a headache… though, lucky me (note the sarcasm), I get stuck with the nausea. Daddy panicked (like me, it's hard to tell when he does, so it wasn't obvious; _any_who, he hadn't read the surgery info paper and didn't know that could be one of the side-effects . ) so Mom sent him out to get the kind of stuff you use to stop sea-sickness. My Daddy is so nice. ^-^

~

People keep asking me if I own Dragonball Z and/or Ranma ½. ::Checks my lil inventory:: Nope, I don't. Sorry! It's just a rental (like when I was renting those Ranma ½ tapes last week… one of the perks of owning a bank card ::points to the debit card that I'm _supposed_ to use for books, tuition, and gas money:: I think I'm broke now… again….)

Tippy: To spell it out for you, she's a poor broke college student who doesn't own the two aforementioned anime because she spends all her money on college, maintaining the gas level of her car, and treats for me. Bye.

mkh2: Yup, that's about the gist of it.

~

Vegeta ½

Chapter 6 – Bejee and Bulma – A Day on the Town

~

 Vegeta rolled over and smacked the noisy alarm on the bedside stand before yawning and stretching. 'Boy, I sure had an odd dream last night…' Standing, Vegeta walked over to the closet, pausing a moment to glance in the full-length mirror on the bathroom door. Freezing, Vegeta backtracked and stared in horror.

"Gyaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

~

'I wonder what's eating her,' thought Bulma as she stared at the silent girl who was slowly eating an apple, eyes tightly shut. Strangely she had a feeling of déjà vu, as if she had seen someone do that before, but whom? She shook her head sleepily. It's a rather disconcerting feeling, waking up at 7:30 in the morning to someone screaming bloody murder, though it wasn't that big of a shock when she realized it was coming from Vegeta's wing in Capsule Corp.

Goku had persuaded Bulma to allow Bejee to stay over in Vegeta's wing, claiming it would probably be more comfortable for her, considering the fact that Bejee liked her privacy and there was plenty of training equipment for her to use there. He also said that he had talked Vegeta into allowing Bejee to take up residence in his wing, so long as it was not in his room exactly and she didn't leave a huge mess (Vegeta can be very picky about such things, you know?) Still, Bulma couldn't see why either of the two men would place so much interest in the girl. Sure, she has a very pretty face… and, true, she has a _rather_ curvaceous figure… and, she begrudgingly admitted, the girl was a martial artist (bonus points to her for that, considering the fact she's dealing with Saiyans)… but beyond that, she was just your average, run-of-the-mill, everyday girl… with a somewhat unusual background.

Okay, Bulma conceded, Vegeta has every right to take notice of the girl – he was a single, red-blooded male (she would know, she's had to treat his injuries often enough, and that blood was _very_ red) – but he wasn't even there. Goku, however, was there, and… she fumed… she _still_ thought they were being too chummy. Bulma perked up. He did say one thing to her last night that left her feeling assured that he wasn't being overly interested in the girl…

"When's Kakarrotto showing up?" Bejee's voice broke into Bulma's thoughts. It seemed she had been done with her apple for a while and was attacking a heaping plate of pancakes, covered with butter, powdered sugar, chocolate chips, whipped cream, and, naturally, 100% real maple syrup, the kind out of a glass jar. (There's another point to her – she seems to share the boys' appetites, so she probably wouldn't feel awkward with the amount of food needed to be placed on the tables daily.) A little bit of powdered sugar was on the tip of her nose.

"He's not coming over today."

Bejee froze and grew pale – Bulma couldn't help but smirk at her (from behind her coffee mug, of course.)

"What do you mean, 'he's not coming over today'? Of course he is – he has too!"

Vegeta was on the verge of hyperventilating. Goku had said that if she thought she would need company or need help to cover up her non-girlish actions that he would be at hand. How did his not being there help her? It didn't! He had to come over! What would she do all day? _Paint her toes!?_

"Goku told me that you needed a new wardrobe and suggested I take you shopping today – said it would be good for you to have some girl time with me since you've basically never had the chance to do so." Bulma smiled almost sympathetically at her. 

_"Bejee, you see, has always been with Mute and, as I mentioned, Mute is a guy, so she barely has any knowledge of what it means to be a girl. She's more comfortable around men. I'm sure if you show her a nice time while shopping she would probably be more apt to hang out with girls and other people instead of just me. It would be good for her. So please, Bulma, be nice. She is going to have a hard time learning how to _be_ a girl."_

Bulma nodded to herself. Yes, that would explain why Bejee seemed to cling to Goku. She sipped her coffee and turned the page of the newspaper. 'Ooh! It looks like there's a sale today at my fav store!'

Vegeta, meanwhile, was resisting the urge to repeatedly bang her head on the table.

~

Goku was sitting in the kitchen, trying his hand at fixing a tear in his gi since Chichi had gone shopping for groceries, a chore that made Goku immensely grateful that he was married to Chichi because he had absolutely no idea what to get when he went to the store and often had gotten too much junk food (his sweet tooth was a weakness that he was loathe to admit… Vegeta'd laugh his… er, _her_ head off.) Well, either too much junk food or too much meat (at least, that's what Chichi always says.)

*Ring! Brring-ring!* Noisy telephone… he really preferred Bulma's dad's phone* (it was in the shape of Dr. Brief's cat, Tama, and would sing the Meow Mix song until you picked it up.)

"Hello?"

"Kakarrotto, what is the meaning of this?" Vegeta's voice hissed at him from the earpiece.

"Why, hello to you too, it's a fine morning. How am I doing? Fine, thank you, and you?" Goku chirped back at Vegeta in an overly cheery (i.e., fake) tone.

"Kakarrotto!"

"Sheesh, such a sour puss… anyways, what are you talking about?"

"Bulma said… Bulma said you aren't coming over today." Goku could have sworn he heard a whimper, but thought it wise not to mention it.

"I can't be over there all the time! It's already looking suspicious as it is! Bulma says we're being too… chummy."

"Chummy? _Chummy?_ I'll give her _chummy!_" Vegeta seethed. "I don't care about that! I want you over here now!"

"Aw, Bejee, I didn't know you cared!" Goku batted his eyes at the phone, trying not to laugh too much, knowing full well that Vegeta couldn't see him.

"Moron! Idiot! Grr… gotta go, the onna's calling… Please come! I don't want to go shopping! I don't know how to be a girl!"

"That's the whole point! You're going to have some 'girl bonding' time with Bulma, and while you're at it, you get to observe some of the finer points of being a girl. I mentioned to Bulma that, being raised by only a man, you probably wouldn't act too much like a girl, sorta like the daughter on Beverly Hill Billies – love that show!"

"You would. Fine then, Kakarrotto, have your way, but once this is over I'm dunking _you_ in the water!"

"Sure, sure, and I'll just have Bulma change me back the same day. Remember to get a pretty dress!"

Goku heard Vegeta yelling angrily at him as he, laughing, hung up the phone.

"Sheesh, hope Bejee's not too angry with me. Besides, he doesn't know about all the perks that come with being a girl." Goku looked fondly at the fluffy piles of treats under the bell glass jar sitting primly on the counter. "I'm sure Chichi wouldn't mind if I sneak just one…"

~

"So Bejee, what are your favorite colors, huh?" Bulma tried to make small talk as she flew her air-car to the biggest mall in the heart of the city.

"Blue, white, and yellow-gold, though I also like red and black," Vegeta rubbed the bridge of her nose. 'Blue, white and gold – the colors of the royal family of Bejita-sei, and red and black, like Bejita-sei against the darkness of space.' She looked out the window when suddenly a vague memory of a friendly smile floated to mind. "And orange… I like orange…"

"Orange, huh?" Bulma glanced over at Bejee who seemed to be in a daze as she stared at the city passing underneath the airborne car. 'I hope it's not what I think it is.'

"So, Bejee, Goku tells me you hate bugs," Bulma chirped, curious to see if Goku was telling the truth or if he just made something up.

"Buh-bugs?" Vegeta whirled around in her seat, grabbing tightly onto the headrest. Her knuckles turned white from the grip. "Wuh-where?" She started shaking slightly.

"I didn't say they were here, I just asked if you hated bugs…" Bulma raised an eyebrow. 'Guess she really is paranoid.' "Don't worry, you probably won't see any bugs around here, especially not in the middle of the city like this in the daytime."

"Nyer-yah-hah-hah-haa," Vegeta tried to laugh. 'Sheesh, Kaka-baka**, blab to the whole world, why don't you…'

"We're here!" cheered Bulma, setting the car down. They got out and she capsulized it, promptly sticking it in her purse. "Now," she turned on her heel and grabbing Bejee by the wrist, ran full speed at the mall. "Shop-ward, ho!"

"What did I ever do to deserve this!" moaned Bejee, stubbornly blocking out the memories of her days under Frieza. In her opinion, it didn't count.

~

"Ah, the sweet smell of success!" Bulma plopped down in one of the booths in the food court, dropping her heavy load of shopping bags next to her by the wall. Bejee sat across from, also putting down her many bags. She managed to get mostly pants, shorts and tees, in a slightly similar style to what she's used to, but, against her wishes, she was still stuck getting two dresses and three skirts, with five matching blouses and three dressy shoes. Bulma insisted – said it'll make a good impression on the gang, whatever that meant.

"So, now times for eats and… girl chat!" Bulma clapped her hands together eagerly. She loved her friends dearly, but the only other girl in the Z gang (with the occasional inclusion of Launch, who was off trucking somewhere) was Chichi, and being a wife and mother caused her to be more interested in things that, as a single woman, Bulma didn't have much interest in or knowledge of. She hoped that, with time, Bejee could be another person for her to have regular conversations with, once she got her out of the tomboy phase.

Bejee blinked blandly at her. "So, we're getting burgers?"

"Sure, if you want, but how about one of those desserts?" Bulma nodded her head to a rather large food store, with the windows heavy laden with deserts of all sorts: truffles, tiny chocolate creations, tiramisu, decadent napoleons, swirls of raspberry and mint… things, triple berry and chocolate terrines, parfaits, cakes, even sugar eggs and pink sugar-spun horses with little knights riding on them, all sorts of fluffy, girly, extra sweet treats that Vegeta had never eaten before because they were, well, too girly. "Goku loves that stuff, you know."

Vegeta turned to stare at Bulma. "He what?"

Bulma nodded her head fervently and leaned forward, eager to divulge this first bit of "girl talk" with Bejee. "So, Goku is the kind of guy who likes big hearty meals – you saw that yourself, right? – eats mostly meat and potatoes, really manly stuff… Anyways, Chichi and mom and I often get him treats from places like that, truffles and trifles and little chocolates and parfaits – he _loves_ chocolate parfaits with strawberries and whipped cream – because, well, it's not manly for a guy to go getting those all the time – he does it often enough, saying he's getting them for his wife as a treat, but if he does it too much it looks suspicious, you know?"

Vegeta nodded her head. "It isn't manly, right? It looks so… fluffy."

"Right! That's the point! He says it's one of the perks of being a girl, you can have all those little treats and nobody pokes fun at you."

Vegeta grinned. This was the perfect way to get back at Goku for putting her through this "torture." She would feel only slightly guilty (he _was_ being extra helpful with helping her deal with this whole crazy situation and all, keeping her secret.)

Bulma ran and got their orders, commandeering two other guys to help bring the food over, since Bejee was watching the bags, along with two parfaits for the both of them. As they ate, Bulma decided to bring up "the boys."

"So, what did you think of… Vegeta?" Bulma questioned Bejee as she dug into her parfait. Bejee wasn't quite done with the rest of her meal yet so the parfait was still sitting on its tiny doily.

"Great, a real prince," muttered Vegeta absently as she shoveled food into her mouth, anxious to try out this "parfait" before it melted any further from the table lamp. "I mean, he did give me free run of basically all of his facilities – you could ask Kakarrotto about it – so yeah, he's great." Well, Vegeta reflected, eying her many plates, you could have quite a nice tuck-in at the mall, if you've got the money, as she reached for the parfait. Scooping a tiny spoonful into her mouth, she felt she was in heaven – no wonder Goku indulged in these sugary confections!

"Okay, and what about Goku?"

"What about him?" Vegeta raised her eyebrow suspiciously. What was that, that Kakarrotto mentioned this morning about being… chummy?

Bulma leaned over the table, parfait forgotten, and palms flat against the table. "You know he's married, don't you?"

_'What is this?'_ thought Vegeta, spoon frozen on its path to her mouth. "Huh?"

"He didn't tell you? Look, he's got a wife and a kid, okay?"

"So?" Vegeta shrugged. 'Big deal, I already knew that.'

"So? _So?_ You know this means you can't go flirting with him."

"What?" Vegeta's eyes widened. 'Flirting? The crazy onna thinks I'm _flirting_ with Kakarrotto?'

"You heard me: don't flirt with Goku. Granted, he's a very attractive men, but you can't have him. Don't worry, though, there's plenty of others around!" Bulma nodded her head vehemently. "Take Vegeta for instance – he's of the same cut, sort of, but he's single – you can flirt with him! Or one of the other guys in our group, for instance Kuririn, you met him last night – sure, he's on the short side but he's very sweet! And then there's Tenshinhan and Yamucha, well, you can't have Yamucha, he's mine, and… well, there's plenty of other guys! You just can't have Goku!"

"By Goku, you mean, Kakarrotto?" Vegeta asked, scooping up some more parfait. She knew she shouldn't ask such a silly question but it was just too tempting.

"Yes! Who'd you think I was talking about?"

"Well, for your information, I wasn't flirting with him," Vegeta licked a little of the whipped cream off the back of the spoon. "Anyways, I think Kakarrotto sounds much nicer than 'Goku,' wouldn't you agree?"

Vegeta had to hold back her laughter the rest of the lunch hour as Bulma's face turned varying shades of red and white. 

~

Thankfully, Bulma allowed Bejee to go wandering around on her own the rest of the day on the promise that they'd meet back in front of the dessert shop. Taking the large wad of cash, Vegeta amused herself looking at a weapons store, an arcade, and a bookstore – she thought the "Karate for Dummies" book hilarious. Before the appointed meeting time, Vegeta quickly dropped in the dessert shop to pick up a little something special, wrapped in nicely in two white boxes with red bows.

Revenge is sweet.

~Owari~

Figure out what that last line means on your own – nyeh!

Originally, Goku wasn't going to appear at all in this chapter but… I wuv my widdle Go-kun! ::squishes Goku in a hug::

~

*No, there is no such phone, not even in any anime I've seen, but I thought it would be a cute idea.

**Baka- stupid, dummy, idiot, moron, etc., could be used for an expletive (depends on the situation and tone of voice) or simply to mean "silly"

~

Oh yeah, the parfait thing – I rarely, if ever eat them, but I saw this one picture and I thought, if you want a girly, and I mean _really_ girly treat, you have to get that, complete with sesame sticks and mint leaves. I hear they're pretty good.

~

::Looks back at previous chapters:: Ghk! Er, I guess there's a lot of editing I need to do… I can't believe how many mistakes there were! And it wouldn't hurt to start on fixing up some of my other stories as well. ::I get kinda nitpicky sometimes… not as bad as before, but still…::

~

Sheesh, I did this some time last week – it was supposed to be out two Sundays ago – I think I mentioned that, but I rarely had any time to go on the Internet… I reviewed when I could but I only got the chance to log in once or twice for like three minutes at a time so sorry about the wait. (Anyways, I'm tired! I have a headache! It's not even six in the evening yet and I want to go to bed! ::sniffles:: My ears hurts. Stupid side effects.) So, if you're asking about the time, I think about an hour and a half, give or take a little.


	8. Vegeta ½ chapter 7 – Apples and Worms

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: If I owned Dragonball Z or Ranma ½, I wouldn't be in college right now… I'd be taking a nap.

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

Part of this chapter is based on an incredibly short story I had made up while groaning about how I can't have any of my favorite foods (including some very delectable looking apples sitting on the counter) due to the recent removal of my wisdom teeth (hasn't kept me from eating French Fries though!) That story, which is so short I'm probably not going to post it, bears the same title as this chapter with the following description: "Apples and Worms: Vegeta always keeps his eyes closed when he eats apples for fear of worms, but is that better or worse?"

Hope you like

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 7 – Apples and Worms

~

Another day, another dollar… does _not apply to Vegeta. After smashing the blaring alarm clock with a well-aimed fist, she rolled out of bed tiredly and, walking over to the closet and opening it, she froze, taking in her new wardrobe._

"Buruma!" she yelled.

~

Vegeta sat fidgeting at the kitchen table, wearing a rosy red sundress with little purple flowers sprinkled all over it and a tan sweater, light and airy, resting on the back of the chair. She glared at nothing in particular, not even noticing the butter slowly dripping off the pancakes sitting in front of her.

Bulma sat a few seats down from her and frowned over at the slouching girl.

"It's not that bad," she started again, "I think it's a good idea for you to wear a dress, especially with the guys coming over today like I told you yesterday." She poked at her slowly dwindling short stack. "Besides, it looks nice on you, I could never pull it off."

"Keh," Bejee snorted. 

Bulma frowned. Another yell woke her up this morning, coming from the petite girl in Vegeta's wing, pronouncing her name the way Vegeta did. She had called her Bulma up 'til then, when she _did_ say her name that is, but, in her fury, started shrieking _Buruma this and _Buruma_ that. It sort of made sense that she was mad, after all, she had put all her clothes in last night herself, only to wake up and find only the dresses and skirts left. It made a lot of sense that she'd be mad, since the girl didn't even want any of those dresses and skirts to begin with._

Suddenly… *splat!* Lo and behold, who should transmit himself onto Bejee's poor, belated pancakes but the infamous Goku.

"Uh, oops, guess I was a little off again," chuckled Goku, hopping off the table. "Yech! Syrup! Hey, the pancakes are cold… got up a little late, did we Bejee?" Goku frowned at the mess on the seat of his pants before smiling sheepishly. "Good thing I cam prepared this time, have an extra pair of pants with me… I'll just go change in the bathroom, 'kay, Bulma?" He darted out of the room.

"Well, that was random," murmured Bulma, sipping her coffee.

Vegeta just stared sadly at her ruined breakfast.

~

Goku soon ambled back into the kitchen, a new pair of pants on to replace the other soiled pair that was hanging on his arm. 

"Hi, Bunni, mind if I pop this in the wash?" he chirped, waving at Bulma's mother who was happily bustling around in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello Goku dear, I'll take that. Want some breakfast? I had made some more because something _awful_ happened to poor Bejee's panakes… poor dear didn't have much of an appetite this morning and it was ruined before she had the chance to take even one bite!" Bunni smiled naively, not noticing Goku's embarrassed smile.

"Er, yeah, the pancakes were my fault… wait, you mean she didn't get up late?" Goku blinked. "I thought that was why her pancakes were cold."

"Oh no, the poor dear got up early, same as yesterday, but she's been awfully upset over being forced to wear a dress."

"She's wearing a dress!" Goku's eyes widened. "I didn't even notice!" He darted over to Vegeta, who was hastily shoveling down her new batch of pancakes, and tried to see what she was wearing. However, since she was sitting so close to the table he couldn't really tell. 'A pink… something… with a tan shirt?' wondered Goku.

"Hey Bejee, what's that?" Goku pointed to something just a little above her head.

"What's what?" Vegeta growled around her food.

"There's something yellow and wiggly…"

"A worm!" Vegeta shrieked, jumping on her chair. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"Oh… Bejee… it's just a joke…" Goku breathed, blinking at her as she danced around nervously on her chair. "Ah… nice dress…"

"Worm…" Vegeta blinked and glared at Goku. "You tricked me!" She jumped at Goku, who caught her lightly around the waist.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you… I mean you're wearing a dress," Goku stared at Vegeta. "You know, I was joking when I told you to get a dress…"

"It was Buruma's idea," she growled. "And she stole the rest of my clothes to make me wear this when the others come over!" She glowered up at him a moment, remembering something. "She thought I was flirting with you."

Goku sighed. "I thought that was what she meant when she said we were being too chummy." He blinked thoughtfully before setting Vegeta back on the ground. "Anyways, you don't have to be so upset about the dress. It looks good on you."

"Wha- really?" Vegeta looked down at herself. "It feels so awkward."

"If it makes you feel any better, you can consider it a… ceremonial robe… for, um… your presentation to the… uh… people of the town?" Goku mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"I guess," Vegeta tugged in annoyance at the side of the dress. "Stupid thing doesn't fit right."

"It doesn't?" Goku looked her over, walking around her to see what she meant. "It looks alright to me."

"The chest is too tight."

"And the waist?" Goku noticed Vegeta was tugging at it.

"Room to spare."*

"Well, you can put a chain belt on to… _accent_ your figure," Goku scrunched up his nose thoughtfully as he bent over to see how much fabric was left over. "I've seen it in a magazine."

"Okay, I guess… I think I have one, Buruma bought me lots of junk and _accessories yesterday." Nodding her head, she went back to her room._

Goku wiggled his nose thoughtfully as she left. "Hey, Bunni?"

"Yes, Goku dear?"

"You have anymore of those pancakes?"

"Here!" Bunni smiled brightly as she placed a towering stack of the steamy hotcakes on the table.

"Great! Where's the syrup?"

~

Goku sat on one of the chairs in Bulma's lab, fidgeting slightly as he peered over her shoulder.

"You know, Goku, I could get this done faster if you didn't stare so much," Bulma said dryly.

"Sorry, it's just she really wants it done quick." Goku tugged gently at a loose thread on the chair before spinning himself in it (he loved those chairs.)

"Yes, well, I won't have much time to work on it today since the gang is coming over," Bulma said, pushing her reading glasses up. "You know, this water looks really crazy, ne?"

"Ha, yeah, that's true," Goku nodded thoughtfully. 'So let's see, this'll be the third day… oh… and we haven't really done much to solve this problem. Vegeta's taking this pretty well so far…'

"Hey Kakarrotto?" called a voice from over at the door. Goku turned in his chair.

"Ah? Oh, hey Bejee, what's up?"

"I'm bored, let's go to the GR, okay?"

"But, you don't have any clothes to wear to train in, remember? Only skirts and stuff until Bulma gives 'em back," Goku said.

Vegeta gritted her teeth, annoyed. "Okay, so let's go to the kitchen or watch some TV." She glared daggers at him. 'Get the hint, baka, I wanna talk!'

Goku smiled sheepishly, "Okay, let's go to the kitchen… I wanna get a sandwich."

Vegeta smiled slightly. "Sure thing, Kakarrotto."

Bulma watched them anxiously over her shoulder as they left.

'Are you sure you're not flirting, Bejee?' she wondered.

~

Goku grinned as he finished stacking the deli meats and topped it with some extra garnish, mustard and mayo before placing the top slice of bread on it and slicing it up. "Nice little snack, eh?" he commented to Vegeta, who had been silently watching him in his preparations. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," Vegeta shrugged before walking over to the fridge and opening it. "I'm bored. I guess I could get a snack to, until the entertainment gets here."

"Entertainment?" Goku asked, taking a bite out of one of the slices. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, Bulma said your friends are coming over today, right?" Vegeta pulled one of the white boxes with the red ribbon on it out of the back and, grabbing a spoon, sat down at the table.

"Aw, Bejee, that's not very nice," Goku shook his head. "You should try and get along with them, after all, _you're not supposed to have anything against them. So give 'em a chance. You might like 'em."_

"Whatever," said Vegeta, and she opened the box.

Goku's mouth started to water. Sitting in front of Vegeta was the most beautiful parfait he had ever seen, mounds of chocolate and cream and sugar with strawberries and candied flowers and mint leaves and peppermint sticks, all in a beautiful frosted rainbow glass. 

"Be-Bejee, where'd you get that?" he squeaked out, sandwich forgotten.

"Over at the mall the other day," she took up a small spoonful and tasted it lightly, eyes closed, savoring the taste. "Mmm, it tastes so good. This is only my second." She peeked out of under her eyelashes (thank Kami, she's got naturally long ones) and tried hard not to smirk at his face.

"Ah, Bejee, you, ah, you think _I_ could have some?" Goku was practically drooling as he stared alternately between the parfait and Vegeta's expression. It looked _sooooo_ _gooooood_.

"Share? This is barely enough for me… besides, you have a sandwich," Vegeta blinked innocently at Goku, trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh, but, I'll give you half of my sandwich," Goku gestured to the barely touched sandwich.

"Mmmmmm…. No." Vegeta took another bite of the parfait. "I mean, you did leave me to the _horrors_ of a shopping spree with _Bulma_ yesterday. Why should I give you any of this parfait?"

"But Bejee! I had to! Bulma was getting all suspicious… even the most tomboyish of girls like some girly thing," Goku whined, slumping over the table. "Besides, you needed clothes, and you're too small to fit in Bulma's clothes."

"Well, I like this girly thing," gestured Vegeta to the parfait, "and I'm not sharing." She took another bite for, picking up the parfait, she walked over to the refrigerator. "I wonder if there's anymore cherries?"

"Please! What do you want! I'll do anything for just a bite?" Goku was on the verge of tears. He had never seen such a beautiful parfait before and he desperately wanted a taste.

"Anything?" Vegeta paused in her "search." She turned to look at him thoughtfully before melting. He really looked quite pathetic, with those watery puppy dog eyes and the trembling lower lip. "Oh, whatever, just help me keep this charade up." She grabbed the other box and placed it in front of him. "Here."

Goku blinked before quickly opening the box and cheering. "Yay, Bejee, you're the best!" For, in the other box, was the twin of Bejee's parfait… with sprinkles.

~

Bulma peeked in on the Goku and Bejee, having heard Goku's shout of joy. She shook her head… so that was why she had looked interested in hearing that Goku liked sweets so much. Was she telling the truth about not flirting with him? She suddenly paused. What if… what if she wasn't flirting with him before, but she was flirting with him now? She frowned before heading to her room to get cleaned up.

~

Goku and Vegeta, having finished their parfaits (Goku still had a happy, glazed look to his face), were now snacking on apples, Goku saying that he read somewhere that eating apples removes 99% of food particles and bacteria from your mouth.** As he ate, he glanced over at Vegeta's face. Her eyes were closed.

"Hey, Bejee," hissed Goku as he leaned over to her. "Bejee."

"What, Kakarrotto?" she mumbled around the apple.

"Why are your eyes closed?" Goku asked. "Every time I see you eat apples, you keep your eyes closed."

Vegeta paused in mid bite. "Er, it's…" She scrunched her nose up thoughtfully. "Worms."

"Worms?" Goku blinked.

"Worms, or any bug that might be in the apple."

"Ah," Goku nodded his head wisely then frowned. "But, isn't it worse?"

Vegeta stiffened. "What?"

"Well, if you see the worm, you can avoid it. Or, just think about it, how many worms do you think you might have eaten already?" Goku asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Idiot!" Vegeta threw her apple at him. "Why didn't you tell me that before!" she snapped.

"I didn't know! I hadn't really thought about why you kept your eyes closed. I just figured you really like apples!" Goku rubbed the tiny welt on his forehead where the apple got smashed. He looked at the decimated apple that now was crumpled on the table. "If it makes you feel any better there weren't any worms in this apple, unless you already ate it."

"No, it doesn't," Vegeta paled and got up, hand over her mouth. 

"Huh? Where you goin', Bejee?"

"To the bathroom – I have to hurl," Vegeta squeaked before rushing for the door.

"Oops." Goku sighed. "What a waste of a perfectly good apple… and a perfectly heavenly parfait." He took another bite out of his apple. "Eww… looks like I got the worm."

~Owari~

*This line is from one of the books from Ranma ½. In it, Ranma needed some clothes to wear while the rest of his were in the laundry. The girls insisted he couldn't go around naked (or at least, in his boxers), so, in girl form, they stuck him into Akane's clothes. Naturally, after that little bit of dialogue with Nabiki, the middle daughter, Akane pounded Ranma.

**'Tis true, I kid you not.

~

The "party" is in the next chapter – I felt this was getting too long.

~

One note for the previous chapter: actually, I don't think Goku is really much of a sweets person, you normally see him digging into meat and potatoes, rice and beans, and other manly stuff (my usual grub – I like American, so what if I'm a Hispanic mix, I hate enchiladas! Spicy, yech!) I don't even recall ever see him eating from the many trays of sweets that Bunni, Buruma's mom, had offered him on occasion, though there was this dub crack about how he "shouldn't have eaten that pound cake" in the episode were he was training in the remodeled Saiyajin space craft on the way to Namek-sei (he broke his bed when he sat on it after eating all the food in the (enormous) fridge (it was easily three times his size!) for a "snack"… of course, the gravity _was_ still on, so I guess he could train while he napped!

~

You'd think Vicodin would really "dope" a person up – my sister, when she had her teeth removed, seemed very drunk, going straight for the general anesthetics to Vicodin… they said that she was talking (and she thought she was speaking normally) and walking like a drunkard… However, I guess I'm getting immune to painkillers or something (due to all my migraines, tension headaches, cluster headaches, etc.…) When I came out of surgery, I blinked my eyes ('Hey! Who put my glasses back on me?'), sat up, and walked, almost completely unaided (the nurse only touched my elbow since my knees were only slightly wobbly) to the "resting area", and I talked normally, except for the occasional slur I got from the mouthful of gauze –bleh, yucky poo! So, my sister says I'd probably be a good drunk. (Thank you _so_ much, Tippy…) Maybe when I'm old (like, say I'm married and want to celebrate my golden anniversary or something) I might try a little champagne… though probably never (if I want bubbly, I open up a can of Pepsi… my favorite drink, has been since I got the braces off back in 9th grade, though I probably wouldn't have gotten so addicted to the stuff if I had been allowed the occasional fizzy drink during the whole mouth-torture ordeal.) What has this to do with anything? I have no idea.

~

I like being random, though it is getting harder and harder these days (hey, there goes that purple cow selling sodas again…) Today I woke up and thought I was still in the middle of my (very odd) dream… though, come to think of it, I bet if I could remember enough to write it down it would be a best seller. ^-^ I'm sick of being in school (seriously, I've had so many headaches, I'm experiencing all the lovely symptoms you'd have in the flu season, and considering all the meningitis – college students, duh – and West Nile Virus scares, I'm having a lovely time of it.)

~

My sister, who is in her last year of high school, is taking yearbook for one of her electives (basically, she needed a filler class.) Sadly enough, this is part of what happened on the first day of class, according to my sister, who has enough weird things happening to her that she doesn't need to exaggerate. (AMPM stands for my sister's boyfriend, who is eight months younger than her and completely devoted to her ~ a total sweetie. ::pats him on the head:: The name is a joke on his actual initials, or at least the one he was supposed to have if they kept the first M.)

Teacher (reading attendance): AMPM – Yay! I have my computer!

AMPM & Tippy: …

Teacher (still looking at the class roll): and… Tippy? Yay! I have my dictionary!

~It turns out that the yearbook class is using a writing program that has neither a spell check nor a grammar check! ::faints in horror::~

~

1 ½ hours, written the day after I wrote the other chapter. (17 minutes easy for all the pointless author's notes I typed.)


	9. Vegeta ½ chapter 8 – Meet my Buddies!

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: If Dragonball Z belonged to me… I wouldn't have ruined Chichi's anime personality. Obviously, I don't own DBZ.

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 8 – Meet my Buddies!

~

Pace, pace, pace. Hiss. Stomp. Sigh. Fidget. Stomp, stomp. Groan. Fidget, fidget. Pace, pace, pace…

Goku was feeling… entertained.

Very entertained.

Never before had he seen Vegeta so… fidgety. If she continued like she was, there was likely to be a rather deep trench in the floor by the end of an hour.

"Calm down, calm down… what's there to be so panicky about? The gang is going to be here soon, so just relax," Goku sprawled out on the couch, flipping M&M's into his mouth. Maybe he was feeling so entertained and… giddy… for lack of a better word… due to all the sugar he had just recently consumed.

Nah.

Vegeta continued pacing back in forth in front of Goku, twisting the skirt of her dress anxiously in her hands.

"What if they don't like me?" wondered Vegeta aloud.

Goku fell off the couch.

"What?" Goku stared up at Vegeta, who had come to a halt in front of Goku, in surprise. "I can't believe– did you just say– who are you and what have you done with Bejee?"

Vegeta blinked. "Idiot. I mean, if they don't like me, and they get on my nerves, I might just be tempted enough to blow my cover while blowing them away."

"Oh." It was Goku's turn to blink. Then he grinned. "Well, you won't have to worry about that – they'll like you. I know Kuririn likes you. Let's just hope they don't like you _too_ much." He hopped back on the couch.

"Why's that?" Vegeta tilted her head.

"'Cause," said Goku, "if one of the guys likes you _too_ much, they just might start hitting on you."

"They hit girls who aren't their enemies?"

"Gah!" Goku almost fell off again. "No! Hitting on a person is just another term for flirting with a person."

"Oh. Ew."

"Exactly."

~

Kuririn was flying over to Capsule Corp with Yamucha, whom he met on the way over. Both were dressed nicely, mainly because of Kuririn mentioning to Yamucha over the phone the night before that a _very_ pretty girl was going to be there – and she was also the reason for the party. Yamucha had voiced his opinion that if Bulma was going to invite them to meet a pretty girl then she should have told him to dress nicely when she invited him in the first place. Kuririn said he called the others up to let them know about the pretty girl, but he had originally only called Yamucha to make sure he dressed nice so he wouldn't feel under-dressed – after all, wasn't Yamucha with Bulma again?

"Who cares if I'm going with Bulma? When it comes to any pretty girl, I always make sure I dress to impress!"

"But then, Yamucha, on those terms, wouldn't you always dress nice for Bulma?"

"Shut up!"

Therefore, both were somewhat cranky by the time they arrived at Capsule Corp.

Kuririn practically skipped up to the doorbell. 

_Ding, dong._

The door opened.

Kuririn blushed.

Yamucha nearly had a nosebleed.

Vegeta stood at the door, looking slightly disheveled, wearing the dress and light jacket, and grinning for all she was worth.

"I win, Kakarrotto!"

"No fair! You had a head start!" Goku pouted from behind her. Blinking, he looked up at the two men and grinned. "Hey guys! You're right on time. Bulma, her mother and Launch are out back setting up the drinks. Launch got here an hour ago because Bulma told her Tenshinhan would probably show up."

"Right," Yamucha nodded, his eyes glued on Vegeta, "and are you going to introduce me to this lovely girl?"

"Hm, girl? Oh, you mean, Bejee! Bejee, this is Yamucha, Yamucha, this is Bejee. Let's head to the back! Maybe we can get some snacks this time." Goku turned and raced out of the room.

Vegeta's eyes widened. "Oh no you don't! You are _not_ going to eat all the snacks! Kakarrotto! Get back here!" She raced after Goku, skirt flying up and feet scorching the carpet.

Kuririn was doing a lovely impression of a tomato.

Yamucha was glad he brought extra handkerchiefs – his nose gushed blood like crazy.

"Wow, pink briefs… who'd a figure."

"Really? I thought it looked more like a thong…"

~

Vegeta was sitting at the picnic table the others had set up, arms sprawled out in front of her, eyes half-shut in boredom. This party thing might have been fun by Goku's standards but in her opinion it stunk. Big time. The only entertaining part was when Launch, having sneezed herself into the blonde-haired terror, thought Muten Roshi was trying to make a pass on her and busted out her machine gun. For the most part though she remained happily as the sweet bubble-headed blue-haired girl, decked in her yellow peasant shirt and long red skirt. Vegeta only paid attention to that because Goku was laughing about her being in the "primaries" or something… Vegeta wasn't exactly paying attention.

Fwump! Goku sat across from her.

"Go away, Kakarrotto, I'm busy," mumbled Vegeta.

Goku frowned. "Bejee, this is your party –mingle! Have fun! Dance with some of the guys!"

"_Dance with some of the guys?_" hissed Vegeta. "_Are you insane? _I'm_ a _guy_!_"

"So," Goku pouted. "Look, the guys want to dance with you – Tenshinhan only to be courteous – after all, that's all Launch would allow. It'll look strange if you don't dance with the guys. It doesn't have to be a slow dance either – it could be one of those fast ones where you don't have to touch the other person."

Vegeta growled. "This party wasn't my idea in the first place. If you think the guys need to dance so much, why don't you dance with them?" she snapped.

Goku narrowed his eyes thoughtfully before nodding his head.

"Fine, then, I will!"

"Wha-?" Vegeta started in surprise, sitting up in her seat.

Goku, after pausing for some whispering with Bulma, bounced over to the disc changer and after some fiddling with it, different music poured out of the speakers. It was spicy and snappy and bouncy and Vegeta found her feet tapping to the music.

Goku jumped into the center of the dance floor.

"Everybody, conga!"

The line quickly formed and they danced dizzily around the room like some sort of drunken snake. Vegeta couldn't help but smile. It was funny.

Goku, who was at the head of the line, danced nearer to Vegeta.

"Come on Bejee, let's conga!"

Vegeta grinned. 

"Sure, Kakarrotto – I'll lead."

Hopping in front of him, she waited for a moment before his heavy hands came down on her shoulders and she lead them all over the room in the craziest patterns she could think of.

~

After the conga, they somehow formed a can-can line, did the hokey pokey, the Twist, did the Bunnyhop, did another chain dance (the Train?), and even some country. Vegeta even slow danced three times – first with Goku, then Kuririn, and finally Tenshinhan – he didn't know any of the fast songs, and was much better at ballroom dancing (waltz was his forte, he claimed.) However, she wouldn't dance with Oolong, Muten Roshi, or Yamucha – "Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend?" – Vegeta had noticed one of Yamucha's rather soggy wet red handkerchiefs in the trash.

Smirking about how she had managed to make most of the guys rather winded – after all, she had _amazing_ stamina, for a girl – Vegeta walked over to the punch bowl, situated between the group of guys on her right and the girls on her left, both gossiping about nothing in particular. Well, the girls weren't gossiping much – you can only say so much in front of Mrs. Briefs and Launch, Puar liked to talk about Yamucha (boring conversation there…), and so Chichi and Bulma were basically talking about the "good ol' days." And the guys… the guys… Vegeta peeked out of the corner of her eye at them, curious. She could have sworn she heard them say her name. She moved slightly closer, pretending to be interested in the large assortment of cookies.

"So, do you think I could get Bejee's phone number?" That was Yamucha.

"No!" said five voices at once.

"Yamucha, aren't you going with Bulma?" asked Tenshinhan, rather curiously.

"That's right, he is," jumped in Kuririn. "I was just reminding him about that earlier.

"Besides," interjected Goku, "her number for right now maybe the Capsule Corp's, but back where she lives, with Mute, she doesn't have a phone."

"Oh," said four voices.

Yamucha jumped in, "But her number right now is Capsule Corp's, huh?"

'_Stupid!_' thought Vegeta. 'Kakarrotto, why'd you have to mention _that?_'

"Why do you want to know?" asked Goku. Was it just her, or did he have a rather hard edge to his voice?

"Calm down, Goku, I just thought maybe I'd show her around town, let her see all the sights."

"Bulma and I can do that just fine," frowned Goku, "maybe Kuririn or Launch could take her out sometimes, but I don't think she likes you much."

"Why wouldn't she like me?" protested Yamucha. "I'm a nice guy."

"Well, I had mentioned to her that you were with Bulma, but I think you came on to strong to Bejee – and besides, wasn't that _your_ bloody kerchief in the trash?" Goku half-growled at him. "She probably thinks you're being fresh with her."

"And she probably thinks you're the kind of guy to cheat!" interjected Kuririn.

"Hey! When did I ever cheat?" whined Yamucha.

It grew quiet for a minute.

"Yamucha – who do you think was the cause of all the break-ups you and Bulma had?" asked Goku. "Even I noticed how you played around with other girls, and we all know how naïve I am."

"Amen to that," said Oolong. Muten Roshi gave out a hoarse chuckle.

Kuririn nodded. "Goku's right Yamucha – I noticed too, and I'm not naïve in the least."

This time every one laughed, even Tenshinhan, much to Chiaotzu's delight.

"Why are you being so protective of her anyways?" snapped Yamucha, feeling rather annoyed.

"Right, Goku, why are you?" asked Tenshinhan thoughtfully.

"Well," Goku sighed wistfully, "her situation reminds me a little bit of my younger self, growing up just me and Grampa… We understand each other; no offense, you guys are great friends, but you don't know what it's like being alone for so long. Even if she does have Mute, he talks so infrequently it's sort of like having no one at all… Sort of like Wilson in Castaway!" He ended with a chirp.

"I thought the volleyball was named Winston."

"No, it's Wilson, I'm pretty sure of it – Chichi loves that movie."

"Ah." It was quiet for a moment, then

"Hey Goku, where's Gohan?"

"Well, Piccolo said he wasn't going to come, and Gohan decided to stay to train – so long as he promised Chichi to get some studying done…"

Vegeta grew bored listening in, paying attention to the slowly crumbling cookie in her hand. She blinked her eyes in surprise.

How many cookies did she just eat? She could've sworn there were three times that many earlier…

Suddenly the women's group descended on the men and Vegeta found herself standing directly across from Goku, a cookie dangling half out of her mouth. He raised his eyebrows at the cookie and she, blushing in embarrassment at how she must've looked, shoved the cookie the rest of the way in.

For the rest of the time, other than some rather sporadic dancing, Goku having lead the Z-gumi in a rather rousing display of "The Funky Chicken", they stood around in that group, in that tight, yet strangely comfortable, formation, just talking… Everybody seemed to have fun. None of the guys seemed to be upset over the earlier conversation (hey, Goku and Yamucha leaned on each other gasping for air from laughing at something Kuririn had said that turned Bulma and Chichi red with embarrassment – though Launch and the other ladies looked pleasantly clueless… well, Kuririn looked sort of clueless himself) and if anything everybody seemed even closer by the party's end.

Ya know, Vegeta glanced over at Goku at where he stood across from her, laughing with the group, this party wasn't such a total bust after all.

~Owari~

Originally I was going to title this "Meet the Gumi"… Then I remembered that there was a movie called "Meet the Parents"… ::shudders:: So I thought of calling it "Meet the Z-Gumi", but I thought that was pushing it… and I also thought that "Z-Gumi" sounded like some sort of fried veggie, like Zucchini… I don't like Zuchini. I like broccoli, cauliflower, some types of lettuce, on the odd (very odd) occasion spinach, and, oh yes, carrots. Carrots preferably in a potpie. . … For some reason I didn't like "Meet the Z-Gang"… wonder why. ^-^

~

About the Funky Chicken – I was remembering having gone to Knott's Berry Farm at New Year's (I think… last year, mebbe?) at midnight, and at this water light show they had a small part, right after the laser light display of Charlie Brown and Linus did this head-tilt-to-the-left dance move thing on the waterfall (very funny, Tippy and I roared with laughter), they put up a laser of a chicken doing the dance… everyone in the general vicinity, Tippy and myself included, danced along with the chicken. I mean everyone (even the people on the ground – when they got up afterwards, their tushies were black. . )

~

Hey, don't get me wrong, I do like Yamucha – particularly how funny he used to get over girls at the very beginning of Dragonball – but after meeting Bulma and getting over his inherent shyness, he became quite the womanizer. At the beginning of Dragonball Z at the get-together, when Bulma says that Yamucha won't show up because she didn't tell him about the reunion, she mentions something about him skirt-chasing again. Everybody should be able to tell that he wasn't the most faithful boyfriend.


	10. Vegeta ½ chapter 9 – Red Alert!

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: Still don't own Dragonball Z and the Z gang, they still belong to Akira Toriyama, but hey, tomorrow it's Christmas, so you never know – Santa may be nice and give me a nicely wrapped Veggie and Go-kun as a gift this year for being so good. ^.~ Until tomorrow, then… ::rubs hands together diabolically:: Mwahahahahaha…

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 9 – Red Alert!

~

Vegeta sunk happily into the hot water… it felt so good to be a man again, even if it was only an hour at most… okay, twenty minutes, but, hey!, in such circumstances it's okay to push the envelope.

Traditionally, you shower off first before getting into the tub, then soak for around twenty minutes – _tops_, and when you're done soaking, if you feel like it, you might shower off again. However, being stuck in a female body all the time, as it were, Vegeta liked to sit in the frothy bubbles in the hot water and simply just be he, a man. After all, as soon as he was done with the soak, he was pretty much required to get another cold shower and – brr! – he'd be woman again, albeit a rather pretty one. He pouted slightly at the thought then froze.

Luxuriating in long hot baths? Men don't do that.

Men don't pout, either… well, except for Kakarrotto, but he doesn't count.

Vegeta scowled, quickly removing the pout from his face. Must be all those darn female hormones getting to him.

*Splash!*

A huge wave of water went over Vegeta, catching him off guard and barreling him over backward, his back thumping lightly into the side of the tub.

"Eh, uh, er, where?" Vegeta pushed his bangs away from his eyes to see the orange-clad back of Goku in front of him.

"Morning Kakarrotto," muttered Vegeta dryly. "What are you doing here?"

Goku turned around in surprise.

"Ah! Oh… Sorry Veg, didn't mean to intrude on your bath… Ick, my clothes are all soggy now." Goku tugged at his now extra heavy orange gi around the middle.

"You mean soaked?" Vegeta cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, that too."

"So what? My fingers are all wrinkled," stated Vegeta, and he raised his hands to further inspect them.

"Eh? But, Geta, don't you always take an only two-minute soak? You never liked getting wrinkled before." Goku leaned over to blink curiously at the very wrinkled fingers.

"Yes, well, before I was always a man, wasn't I? I'm only a man now with hot water, and I was just… what do you call it? …savoring the moment before I turned myself back into a woman to present myself to Onna," Vegeta blinked and looked up. "What are you still doing in the tub?"

"Oh, sorry about that Veg." Goku noisily splashed out of the tub and onto the tile, Vegeta close behind him.

"Hey, Kakarrotto," Vegeta called to Goku before he reached the door.

"Aa, Geta?" Goku paused.

"Since when did you stop calling me 'Bejee,' eh?" Vegeta picked up the showerhead and turned the water onto cold.

"Ah, since you were a man again?" Goku grinned and turned around just as Vegeta pointed the water at himself.

_Fwoosh._

"Eh… AAAAUUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!" 

"Yah-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH – KAKARROTTO, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!!!!!"

~

Goku sat on the couch, nursing the rather brutal lumps on his head with an ice bag, now wearing some dry clothes Bunni had provided for him (where she got it, in _his_ size even, he wasn't sure and he hadn't been about to ask), Bulma sitting on the opposite couch and looking at him with an amused expression.

"Hee… heh hee… *snicker* eh-heh-heh…" Bulma was trying very hard – really, she was – trying very, _very_ hard not to laugh…but she couldn't help it! As it were, these little giggles kept escaping her.

Sighing, Goku shook his head then winced as the motion made his head throb painfully. "Ah, go ahead, yuk it up," he sighed.

"Gladly…" squeaked Bulma. "BWAHAHAHAhahhahHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHOOHOOhooohhoooohhoo…" Tears streamed down her flushed cherry red face. "Suh-suh-seriously… what were you thinking, teleporting into the shower with her?"

"I wasn't thinking at all!"

"AWWWOOOOHOOHOOHOO! ~gasp~ WAHHAHAHA!" Bulma flopped over onto her side, now lying on the couch long ways. "Ahh…ahh…ahhh…"

"No, I meant… Ah… Normally I just teleport to the most powerful ki in the house, and usually that's Vegeta – it hadn't occurred to me that it'd be Bejee. Besides, I hadn't thought she'd be in the shower!"

"Ehh…hehhehheh… Okay, I'm calm no—bwahahahaha—no seriously, I'm calm now," Bulma sighed breathily and, sitting up straight, straightened out her clothes and hair. "Hoo-boy, I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Thanks, Son-chan, I need that." Smiling slightly, she winked at him, "So, I'm betting that she probably isn't interested in flirting with you anymore, eh?" She gestured to the top of his head.

"_Bul_-ma, she wasn't _flir_—" Goku whined wearily.

"I wasn't flirting, Buruma," a voice cut in. Goku and Bulma turned in their seats to the door.

"Hi Bejee!" chirped Goku then winced as the pitch hurt his head.

"Mmh," nodded Bejee, who then strolled over to the couch he was sitting on and plopped down next to him. "_So_," Vegeta half-growled, "what's this about my _flirting_ with you?"

"Nothing Bejee," Goku smiled.

"Liar," Vegeta scowled and poked rather hard at his head.

"AHWOO!" Goku jumped up and away. "Bejee, that hurt."

"So?" she snapped. Vegeta couldn't help it; she had been progressively getting in a worse and worse mood since the shower incident… which she couldn't even figure out why they started screaming at each other in the first place… and then… this… this… _this_… this _flirting_ thing again? Hadn't they already covered that? It was beginning to grate on his last nerves.

"Fine then," Goku's eyes narrowed. "I'll just head home then, won't I? Chichi wouldn't be so mean… See ya 'round, Bejee." And raising two fingers to his head, Goku teleported back home, leaving the ice bag where he had been sitting.

"Fuh-fine!" Vegeta yelled at the spot where he had sat. "I didn't want to see your stupid face anyway!" She stormed back to her room, too exhausted, for some reason, to do anything but lie down.

"Hm," Bulma blinked thoughtfully at her stormy exit.

"My, my, aren't things getting exciting around here?" a perky voice chirped from behind Bulma.

"Mother!" squawked Bulma, blinking her eyes rapidly in surprise. "Where did _you_ come from?"

"Oh Bulma dear, do we have to have _that_ talk again," Bunni shook her head gently at her gaping daughter.

~

"Uhh… nnhh… my stomach hurts…" moaned Vegeta, fisting the blanket in her hand as her other hand massaged her abdomen between her and the bed. "I feel sick… and fat… and my clothes, my new clothes, they don't fit right…" Rolling over, she blinked her eyes blearily at the ceiling. "My back and legs are sore, too, all the way down to my toes. My stomach feels like it's gotten a cramp… I feel like I'm gonna puke." She pushed herself off the bed and headed to the bathroom. "I mean, the pains aren't all that serious but why do I feel like this in the first place?" She turned on the faucet and splashed her face with cold water. "Bleh. I even look a bit pale, too." Wrinkling up her nose, she dried off her face. "And I keep feel like I need to pee." Shrugging her shoulders, she headed to the toilet. "Oh well, when nature calls…"

She sat there for a while, feeling completely drained, when she smelled something she usually didn't smell when she used the bathroom.

"Eh? What is that? Blood? Impossible." Cleaning herself, she reached for the handle to flush when, out of morbid curiosity, she peeked into the bowl.

Blood.

"Oh my gah-oh my geh-olma mah pahhahhahhahahwaaaahh!" she choked and sunk to the floor, her body wracked in dry sobs. "I'm bleeding! I'm dying! Waah, Kakarrotto!"

~

Miserably, about fifteen minutes and six unsuccessful attempts to stop the blood later, she picked up the phone and called Kakarrotto.

"Hello," came the familiar voice.

"Ka-Kakarrotto?" whispered Vegeta.

"Bejee?" there was a pause. "What do you want?" he asked dully.

Vegeta winced – obviously he was still mad. "I… ah… I'm bleeding." She paused, waiting to hear what he said.

No reply.

"Kaka… Kakarrotto? Are you still there?"

"Bleeding from where?"

"Ah… I'm…" Vegeta felt her face go red. This was embarrassing. "From, um, from between my legs…"

"Oh." The voice sounded relieved. "I'll just grab some stuff and be right over. Go over to your bathroom if you're not already there."

The line went dead.

"Kakarrotto?" squeaked Vegeta. She stared at the phone for a moment before dragging herself to her feet and into the bathroom. A minute later Goku appeared, a small bundle under his arm and a sheepish grin on his face.

"I should have known that's why you were acting crankier than usual, but I hadn't thought that we'd have to deal with this, especially this soon." He set the box onto the bathroom counter. "There's some things I guess I have to explain to you…"

~

"Ew."

"Yeah, that's what I thought when Launch first explained it to me. If it wasn't for her and… you know… I probably wouldn't have found out until I was married. That would have been embarrassing."

"Yeah, I'd think so… then that screechy harpy of yours would really have something to screech about."

"So… anything else need to be explained?"

Goku and Vegeta were sitting in the bathroom, Goku on a stool and Vegeta on the toilet.

"Mm, not really."

Goku nodded thoughtfully before pulling a bottle out of the bundle in his lap and giving it a shake. "You said you had cramps and muscle aches, right? Take two of these now with eight ounces of water or some other liquid and another one or two pills every four to six hours as needed, not to exceed eight of these pills in twenty-four hours, got that?" The pills rattled noisily before

"Um, yeah," Vegeta took it.

"I'll head back to my place now… it'll look suspicious if I suddenly turn up in your room or something." He carefully laid everything out on the floor and picked up the bag. "I let you do… what you need to do now. If you want me to come over again today, rush in a huff as conspicuously as you can to the phone in the kitchen, call me up, and demand that I come over to spar because you're bored…and say that you'll feed me or something, like a bribe – you know my appetite. That way nobody will be suspicious."

Vegeta nodded. 'When did Kakarrotto become so smart?'

Goku transported back home, waving slightly.

Vegeta stood to get a glass of water, ignoring the way her stomach had flipped – obviously it had to be her period…

…Right?

~Owari~

::Blinks eyes sheepishly:: Um sorry? I didn't mean to take so long… I never said I was the sort of person capable of updating everyday. Though, I must admit, I do admire those people.

You know, I originally had a different title in mind for this chapter, except every time I typed "Hot tubs" I always ended up adding "and back rubs." Don't know why, exactly, so I changed it.

Eee… I lost track of time writing this. First, I didn't know what time for sure I started writing because the clock on the computer is off by ten or eleven minutes… I swear Tippy's doing it because she does the same thing with her clock and I had just reset it to the proper time when all of a sudden, in less than a week it was screwed up again. Then… I was sidetracked by a sandwich, some cookies… okay, lots of cookies, two Pepsis, a whole lot of Cheetos, some sunflower seeds, a fortune cookie, Fruity Pebbles, a bunch of Chinese food… get the picture? Heh… I was only a little hungry, honest. Then, I started to read a bunch of fiction… cleared out most of my emails… played some online games… read some sob stories in the newspaper… Still, I'm pretty sure the whole chapter I wrote took around an hour, maybe and hour and a half – _tops_, to write.


	11. Vegeta ½ chapter 10 – When the girlfrien...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: It's official: Christmas has come and gone, and I still do not own Dragonball Z – seems Santa decided not to gift me with my favorite veg-heads. (However, I did get some other things I've been wanting, so I suppose I truly was a good girl ^.^.) Therefore, Dragonball Z and related characters/products still belong to Akira Toriyama-sama… Love his work.

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 10 – When the girlfriend's away…

~

Vegeta lay in bed for roughly half an hour, waiting for the cramps to subside. Unfortunately, she kept running the stuff Goku had explained to her over and over in her head.

'Ugh, when this whole thing is over, I promise to never get on Buruma's nerves like that anymore when I know she' cycling… I still wonder how she manages to have more energy than I do on her cycles and she's just a normal weak human,' Vegeta shoved another pillow under her back. 'And I hope I'm never around that harpy of Goku's when she's cycling either.'

For a moment the thought of a crazed-looking Chichi amused her before she made a face of disgust. "But did he really have to explain what exactly goes on with such graphic detail!" she wailed, grabbing yet another pillow and half-smothering herself with it. 'That nearly made me vomit.'

~

Vegeta stood in the kitchen in front of the phone, glaring at the labeled buttons along the side and rubbing her back.

"I'm bored," she announced, seemingly, to the phone.

"Good for you," came Bulma's voice as she entered the kitchen, apparently looking for a pen to fill in the day's crossword puzzle she held under her left arm.

"Which number reaches Kakarrotto's? I want to spar." Vegeta glowered at the "Son-chan and Fam" button. Oh, she knew exactly which button to push.

"Second button from the top, labeled 'Son-chan and Fam' – but didn't you pretty much send him away? Thought you didn't want to see his 'stupid face,' eh?" Bulma, having found the pen, sat at the table.

Vegeta looked over her shoulder, glowering at the blue-haired genius. "Look, I'm cycling, I'm coming down off some serious cramps, and I have the urge to beat something up… got a problem with that?"

Bulma smiled. "Oh, I understand completely – sometimes I'd end up whacking Yamucha over the head with a pillow for hours when I cycle…" she trailed off, frowning. "Though… sometimes it was cause I caught him cheating on me."

"Cheat… never mind… don't wanna know." Vegeta looked back at the phone. "Just pick it up and push the button, right?"

"Yeah… and Bejee?"

"Hm?" Vegeta paused, a centimeter away from pushing the button.

"Don't beat him up too bad," Bulma grinned. "You want him to continue coming back for entertainment purposes, don't you?"

Vegeta smirked. "I'll keep that in mind." She pushed the button. "Ring, stupid phone, ring!"

"Hello?" Goku's voice came in over the phone, some background noise muffling him slightly.

"Kakarrotto, come over here to spar," Vegeta automatically commanded.

"No."

"What?!" thundered Vegeta. "What do you mean, 'No'?"

"Oh, sorry, who is this? I- no, Gohan, you can't eat that, it's your mother's… Can you please speak up?"

"But Daddy!"

"Eh?" Vegeta blinked. "Kakarrotto, it's me, Bejee!" she half-roared in an effort to be heard. "I. Want. You. To. Come. Over. To. Spar."

"Ahh… sorry… um… I thought you didn't want to see my stupid face, Bejee. Gohan, _No_."

Vegeta was about to chew him out – didn't he say to just call? – when she realized that with Gohan right there and Bulma sitting just a few feet from her, the two couldn't just seem to have suddenly made up in two seconds.

"Kakarrotto, I'm not in the mood. I'm seriously PMSing [boy, she was glad she learned that word; sounded less embarrassing] and I need something to do – I'm bored out of my skull."

"Eh… oh, so that's what – Gohan! Get your hands off the cake! – that's what this morning was all about. Gohan! No, you can't! I can't leave right now – I have to watch Gohan and – Stop it! Wait till your mother gets home! – why don't you come ove -ouch!- over?"

Vegeta blinked. "I don't know where you live." 'Okay, that's not true… but _Bejee_ is not supposed to.'

"What? Speak up, I can't hear – Gohan, you put down that cake right now! – can't hear you."

"I don't know where you live!" she yelled. "Maybe some other time? A little later?"

"I should be free in roughly half an hour… Gohan! Your mother's gonna kill us if you _don't_. _step_. _away_. _from_. _that_. _cake_."

"Come over then? I don't feel like traveling… especially not the way you do," Vegeta made a face.

"But it's – hey! Don't drop it! – it's fun, fast, and easy!"

"Dad, you sound like a commercial."

"Did I? Gohan – no! Ah, Bejee, I'll come over in half an hour – say high to Bulma for me, okay? Gohan! Bye." And Goku hung up.

Vegeta blinked. "Eh… that was… interesting."

"Well," Bulma blinked at Vegeta from over her paper. "How'd it go?"

"Um… he'll be over in half an hour and he says hi," Vegeta turned to leave, thinking slightly.

"That means you have to wait that long to take out your frustrations on him… and you're okay with that?"

"Actually… I feel a little sorry for him – he's _babysitting_," Vegeta threw over her shoulder. "And guarding a cake."

"Ah. I feel his pain," Bulma nodded, returning to a particularly annoying clue on the puzzle.

"Ditto."

~

Fifteen minutes later, Vegeta was reclining on the couch (read: pooled out over the couch like a lump of lard that stays together only due to the fact that it is contained within a flesh sack), her head lolling to the side, when Bulma ran in.

"Oh, Bejee," she breathed. "Yamucha's supposed to be over in ten minutes but I have to go to the main company B on the other side of the city in five minutes for an emergency meeting and I can't reach him on his cell!" She gasped, waving her own cell phone while darting around the living room for her purse, keys and a plane capsule. "Can you please, please, _please_ keep him busy until I get back?"

"Uh… yeah?" Vegeta blinked blearily at her from the armrest. "Can I beat–"

"_No_, you can't, Bejee. Thanks a mill', catch you later!" And Bulma breezed out the door.

~Owari~

Hee, yes, short, I know, but don't worry, I'm going to have the next chapter up in a bit.

What was up with Gohan and the cake? I have no idea – but it seemed funny to me (considering Tippy and I were acting kinda like that over the cookies Christmas eve.)

To "veggie's boo": hm, yeah, I figured something along those lines. However, I take such accusation seriously, and while later in the day after I posted my note I was laughing over the absurdity of it, as such things usually make me do – normally flames make me laugh a little, probably a side-effect of living with my sister and being around her friends so much – I was having a bad day (and experiencing all the same symptoms that Vegeta was experiencing in the last chapter that sent her into a panic. So hey, everything's cool – you just happened to catch me on a really bad day.


	12. Vegeta ½ chapter 11 – …The moron will pl...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: After being slightly disappointed to not find the rights to DBZ sitting gift-wrapped under my tree, I regret to announce that Dragonball Z still belongs to Akira Toriyama. However, there's always next Christmas…

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 11 – …The moron will play

~

*Ding-Dong*

'Oh, joy, the moron is here,' Vegeta made a face and went to the door. Composing herself – after all, she isn't supposed to utterly loathe him – she opened the door and let the idiot in.

~

"She's not here?" Yamucha half-smiled bewilderedly at Vegeta, a bemused expression on his face.

"Yeah – she tried to reach you but couldn't get through your cell," she nodded her chin at the conspicuous bright yellow phone peeking out of it's shoulder strap.

"Oh. So… what should we, I mean, _I_, do until she gets back," he tilted his head at her, half-smirking as he looked her over. "Great outfit, by the way."

Vegeta's eyes narrowed. "I have no idea what _you_ should do until she gets back, and what does my outfit have to do with anything?"

"Just thinking… wanna spar?"

"Kakarrotto's gonna be over to spar with me shortly," Vegeta grit her teeth together, pushing down the urge to punch Yamucha square in the face. Just the way he was _looking_ at her… ew.

"You'd rather spar with him than me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Double ew.

"Duh, you little weakling," she ground out.

"Weak? I hardly think I'm weak. I could probably teach you a thing or two myself."

"All the same, I'd rather wait for Kakarrotto," she frowned, looking around the room. 'Honestly, what will it take for this dunce to get it? And I thought Kakarrotto was thick.'

"He's married, you know," put in Yamucha, slinking a little closer to Vegeta, who, unfortunately, was now staring at this fly buzzing around the plastic bouquet over the mantle.

"Yes, I know. Your point is…?" Vegeta turned back towards Yamucha and gave a little start, not having noticed how close he was.

"I'm not." Yamucha smiled flirtatiously and put a hand on her shoulder.

"B-but you're involved with Buruma," Vegeta, getting a bit nervous, had stuttered and was now cursing her goof. When did she ever panic over anything like this?

_'How about when you first found out that you turned into a woman – or remember this morning?'_  

"It's not the same as married – besides, it's not serious…" Yamucha put his other hand on her knee.

"Whu-whu-wha?" Vegeta broke into a cold sweat and leaned back, almost toppling over backwards. As a (supposedly) mostly normal human woman, would she be able to get him away from her easily? She didn't think so. She bit her lip and leaned further back, falling into a lying position on the couch. Bracing herself for the worst, she closed her eyes tightly and raised her arms over her chest, preparing to kick, hit, scratch and punch him off of her if it came to it.

Turns out she didn't have to.

Feeling the oppressive weight of Yamucha's hands lift off her, and the sudden shift of the couch signaling that somebody had just got up, she opened her eyes…

…and jumped on Goku, who was currently holding onto Yamucha rather tightly by the arms out in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" grated Goku tensely.

"Goku! I was just… getting acquainted with Bejee."

"Was not! You touched me!" snapped Vegeta, who was hanging off Goku's shoulders.

"I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Didn't mean – did too! I've seen you do that to Bulma when you want to make out with her!" Goku frowned, his face a tight mask. "You were planning on cheating on her again, eh? And with _Bejee_, her own house guest, no less." He dropped Yamucha on the floor, eyes narrowing into jet-black almonds. "Get out. I'll tell Bulma you couldn't make it."

"No – I'll tell Buruma what really happened!" snapped Vegeta, shaking Goku. "He had no right to cheat on her or touch me – she deserves to know!"

Goku looked back at Vegeta and sighed. "I guess you're right – there are things more important than keeping the peace after all." Turning back to Yamucha, "Leave. Now."

"No," started Vegeta again.

"Why not?" Goku asked in surprise.

Vegeta smiled slightly. "Well… remember that sparring session I wanted? Yamucha _did_ offer…" Her smile turned into a wicked smirk.

~

"Yeow! That stings!" Yamucha howled as Bulma sprayed some antibiotics at his scratched up arm.

"Shut up, you big baby," growled Bulma. "I'm so _not_ in the mood. First off, we were supposed to go to my favorite restaurant for a date; secondly, I got called to an emergency meeting because some bubble-headed bozos with tapioca for brains screwed up the production line; thirdly, you were going to cheat on me again; fourthly, with my _own_ house guest; and fifthly, you probably scarred the poor girl for life!" She slapped a Band Aid on his arm as hard as she could, which, all things considered, was pretty hard.

"Yowch! That hurts! And what about me? She probably scarred _me_ for life – I hadn't known she could be so _ruthless_ – and Goku didn't lift a finger to help me once… in fact, one time he _tripped_ me!"

"I woulda hit you over the head with a _folding chair!_"

~

"Heeheeheehee," Vegeta giggled brightly, standing outside the medical door. "Looks like she isn't using the gentle touch."

"You don't think we were too hard on him, do ya?" Goku asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Let's put it this way," said Vegeta thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side. "If I were your daughter, and some guy started touching me when I didn't want him too, what would you do?"

"Then we were too easy on him?" asked Goku.

Vegeta laughed.

~Owari~

Ah, also short, I see. Oh well, two chappies close together… all of you ought to commend me. … or at least give me a cookie… no cookie? Oh well.

Here's the part that was supposed to go after the line "Vegeta laughed" but I cut because I thought it was too stupid. Come, laugh at/with me everybody!

"What's so funny? I don't get it. Vegeta? Vegeta, what is it?" Goku half-pouted.

"Nothing Kakarrotto. I'm starving – let's eat."

"No, seriously Bejee, what's so funny? Huh? Huh? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me…"

~five minutes and twelve sandwiches later…~

"Tewv mwee. Tewv mwee. Tewv mwee…"

"Kakarrotto, shut up! Swallow that first! Disgusting!"

"_Pllllleeeeeaaaaassseeeeee???_"

"Gah!"

Yes, yes, yes, weird, I know. What sort of mood was I in? No idea. I just started typing. However, I didn't want to make it too brutal (partially because I'm in a happy sleepy mood – a bit too much to eat – and partially because my slight headache – the kind that goes "Twing! Twing! Twang! Twing!" … more a buzz than anything – wouldn't allow me to think to coherently.) How did Yamucha look after his "sparring" session? Eh, a little less beat up than Goku looked after that time Vegeta stepped on him in Ozaru form. ::insert patented cheesy grin here::


	13. Vegeta ½ chapter 12 – This is the way we...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: Enter the dummy…

Mikki: Do I have to?

Tippy: Yes, we already agreed on this.

Mikki: But I don't like wearing yellow… can't I wear orange or red or blue or white or black or purple or…

Tippy: No.

Mikki: But I don't look good in yellow!

Tippy: Tough.

Mikki: ::sighs:: Okay, but next time I pick the disclaimer outfit… for the both of us.

Tippy: ::pales:: …

Mikki: ::skips out to center stage in a big chicken outfit:: Hello everybody! ::starts doing the chicken dance:: I don't know what you've been told, but this girl here has got no gold, she can't sing and she can't dance, but mostly she burns eggs to ash (hey, Tippy, that's you! Tippy: shut up! Keep singing!), she don't own diddly, she don't own squat, so obviously she don't own the Z-lot! … Z-lot… Tippy, that's stupid!

Tippy: No, you're stupid!

Mikki: . This was your idea…

Tippy: … shut up!

Mikki: ::pushes back the chicken head:: Um, basically I don't Vegeta, Goku or any of the Z-gang… yeah. That's about it… I'm still wondering where Tippy got this crazy costume from though… ::wanders off:: Tippy! That's _my_ cookie!

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 12 – This is the way we beat the bread…

~

_"Then we were too easy on him?" asked Goku._

_Vegeta laughed._

~

Vegeta blinked and came back to the real world, just in time to dodge the rather large fist that was coming at her face.

"Whoa, there, Bejee… you okay? You seemed a little out of it for a moment…" Goku pulled his fist away from where it had come to a stop, somewhere next to her ear.

"Eh, yeah… I'm fine," Vegeta murmured, shaking her head. _Why was she thinking about that?_

"I'm guessing the PMS is getting to you… maybe you should lie down, I mean, you already beat the tar out of Yamucha, do you really need to keep on sparring?" Goku tilted his head to the side in thought.

"Eh… Er… Ah… No, no, I want to… I just have the insane urge to do… something! I mean, my cramps are better, and, well, I don't have all my energy back yet, but I'm feeling restless…" Vegeta flopped over backwards onto the ground. She couldn't help feeling winded despite the lack of physical activity and the _insanely_ low setting the gravity room was at… guess this weak body just couldn't hold up to the rigors of cycling.

Bleh. Just the thought made her sick to her stomach.

"Well… I have a rather… _tasty_… idea," Goku said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.

"Ehm?" Vegeta lifted her head to look at him and raised her eyebrow. "What is it?"

~

"Baking bread?"

Bulma had peeked into the kitchen as she passed and backtracked when she realized she saw something that she couldn't _possibly_ have seen. However, it turned out that she did see it… at least, she thinks that's what she saw.

"Yup!" Goku and Vegeta were currently kneading the dough, occasionally punching a fist into the swollen mass of yeasty goodness. "She needed something to do to relieve her stress but got too winded in the GR."

"Kakarrotto! Don't tell her that!" Vegeta squawked, turning red. 'Don't tell her I couldn't handle the gravity at a low setting of _5_ – that's embarrassing!'

"Hm…" nodded Bulma thoughtfully. "I'm not surprised – after all, after being able to pound Yamucha so thoroughly I'm amazed she's still awake. Though… baking bread, I didn't think you were the type… and same for you, Bejee."

Vegeta blinked in mild surprise while Goku laughed, stopping himself before he put his hand back to rub the back of his head.

"Yeah, well, Chichi sometimes has me do it… not that I minded… fresh baked bread is the best for sandwiches or eating plain."

"Um… Kakarrotto's teaching me…" muttered Vegeta, slightly flustered. It's true… this was really not the sort of thing to do… however, kneading the bread really was sort of… therapeutic. So long as nobody saw her, she wouldn't mind doing this again in male form.

"Yes, I see, Bejee," Bulma smiled slightly at the girl. 'Poor thing… I hope she knows I don't blame her about Yamucha.'

"Ah hah heh, ah…" Vegeta laughed slightly, rubbing her nose and getting flour across her cheeks. "Ehm?" She blinked in surprise and crossed her eyes at the powder. "Ohh…"

"Here Bejee," Goku chirped, grabbing a towel and dusting her face off as if she was just Gohan with a little bit of ketchup on his cheek. "See? All better."

"Hee… yeah…" Vegeta's stomach tied in a knot – hmm… must be hungry, she decided.

"So, Bulma, anything you need?" Goku grinned, looking over at her.

"Oh, right, remember when I called you earlier?" Bulma nodded.

"Ah, you mean after Bejee ran me off the first time?" Goku's grin, if anything, got bigger, which was a feat in itself. Vegeta blushed at the memory – boy, she acted crazy… well, hormonal.

"Yeah… I wanted you to go find Vegeta and give him something from me," Bulma reached into her pocket and would have tossed the purple capsule to him had it not been for the conspicuously growing amount of bread dough and instead walked over to him and tugged on his pocket. "I'll just put it in your pocket for now to give to him after you're done with the baking. Bejee, I hope I get to have a taste of yours, hm?" Bulma smiled gently at the slowly turning pink girl.

"I normally don't make-bake bread!" squeaked Vegeta, holding the towel to her face. "It might not be good!"

Bulma shook her head. "You know, everything's okay, don't you?"

Vegeta lifted her head slowly up at Bulma. 'She doesn't look mad, and I don't think she's planning on getting rid of me or my male self, so…'

Vegeta smiled brightly. "Yup!"

~

"Is it done yet?"

"No."

"Is it done yet?"

"No."

"Is it done yet?"

"No."

"Is it done yet?"

"No."

"Is it done—"

"Bejee! I'll tell you when it's done!"

Normally Goku was a pretty patient man, he had to be, growing up alone had taught him that much. However, raising Gohan, he couldn't but get the feeling that he's been answering that question, along with several others, at least one time too many.

"Oh, alright…"

"Good. Just wait."

"'Kay. … Is it done yet?"

"Argh!"

The sound of a very hard head hitting a very hard wooden counter resonated through the whole house.

~

"I'm bored." Vegeta turned in her to sit in it properly instead of backwards like she had been since they put the bread in the oven to watch it bake.

"Well… sometimes it's good to be bored," said Goku slowly.

"What ever gave you that idea?"

"Growing up by myself after Grandpa Gohan died… raising Gohan… all the dangers this Earth has been in…" Goku sighed softly. "This old world has seen so much danger, so many threats… including you, once."

"Humph, I still could be a threat," Vegeta eyed Goku, feeling somewhat curious about this strange mood he seemed to be in.

"But… where would you go? Isn't this your home now?"

"No. Vegeta-sei is my home," stated Vegeta resolutely.

"But… don't you ever get lonely?" Goku asked.

"No… do you?" Vegeta squirmed around in her chair to face Goku better.

"Well, at first, for many years, I didn't. I mean, being alone seemed so natural that whether a person was near me or not didn't seem to matter. I didn't mind being around people and I didn't mind being alone. I always missed Grandpa Gohan but I never realized I had ever missed my friends until the next time I saw them. Then, one day, Chichi and I were married, and from then on, except for some trips in the Otherworld, I always had somebody by my side. Now, yes, sometimes I do get lonely when I'm alone."

"What about when you are around other people?" Vegeta persisted.

"Wh-wha?" Goku blushed at this. "Well… sometimes I do, like nobody understands me because I'm different somehow."

"It's natural, after all, you and I are the last of our kind… we are different than the others, no matter how much we try to be like them," nodded Vegeta.

"So… you do get lonely," Goku grinned.

"Hmp! No! You're just twisting my words!" growled Vegeta.

"Whatever…" Goku yawned and stared at the timer.

"Um, Kakarrotto?"

"Yes, Bejee?"

"Why are you, um, acting like this?"

"Hm? Oh, I dunno… I guess baking bread always puts me in this sort of mood for some reason…" he shifted around sleepily in his chair and leaned further on the counter.

"Oh… do other things put you in this sort of mood?"

"Lots of different things put me into lots of different moods, Bejee," Goku smiled slightly, eyes slowly turning to rest on Vegeta who was startled.

"Yeah, well, next you feel like breaking bread, don't invite me," yelped Vegeta, turning away brusquely to stare at the oven, thus breaking the quiet mood.

Goku laughed.

~

"This is… this is good!" cheered Vegeta around a mouthful of warm bread.

"Tol'ja," Goku mumbled back around a mouthful the same loaf.

The two sat at the counter now, ten large loaves of the bread stacked high around them. Goku had accidentally over-estimated how much they needed to multiply the recipe by, though Vegeta assured him that they could easily polish off the bread in the same day.

"Alls well that ends well, and all that jazz," Goku said lightly, staring at the piece of bread in his hands, lightly squeezing it and releasing it to let it spring back to its original shape.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Vegeta shoved another piece of bread in her mouth. "This is amazing – it's actually good enough to eat without any butter or cold cuts or cheese or anything!"

"Hm…" Goku sighed thoughtfully before reaching into his shirt pocket. "Oh yeah!" He pulled out the capsule. "Hey, I've got to get going, Bejee. Here, special delivery!" He dropped the capsule on her lap and, saluting, tucked an untouched loaf of bread under his arm and teleported home.

"Mhm?" Vegeta blinked at it before tucking it away. She'll look at it later. Right now, she was hungry.

~Owari~

Today has been a (mostly) wonderful day for me. … Though, it seems that my newly posted items didn't get many reviews ::shrugs:: Oh well, guess that just means I have to update/post more often.

You know, I've never baked bread before, unless you count banana bread or even (ha!) meatloaf, which I don't. Sadly, every time I find a recipe for bread it always has yeast, which I can never seem to find… Maybe I should pay more attention the next time I go the store, ne? It seems like hard work… and yet so much fun! Everybody, sing with me: "This is the way we knead the bread, knead the bread, knead the bread. This is the way we knead the bread- so early in the morning!" ,

Today was a breakfast day for me. We went to IHOPs, went driving around doing errands, ate the remainder of the pancakes we decided to take home with us, and then cooked up some sausages… only breakfast food all day long (however, that sausage was kinda spicy – I'm surprised flames didn't shoot out of my mouth considering how I can't handle spicy food…) So, yeah, today was fun.


	14. Vegeta ½ – Chapter 13 – …Look who’s comi...

Vegeta ½

~

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

by

mkh2

~

Disclaimer: 

~

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

~

 " " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

~

Vegeta ½ 

Chapter 13 – …Look who's coming to dinner

~

_Baking bread is a time to reflect._

…

However, sometimes people reflect a little too much and don't pay enough attention….

~

"Bejee!" squawked Bulma when she entered the kitchen next. The ten large loaves on the counter had multiplied to twenty despite how much she and Goku had eaten.

"Eh heh heh heh… Um, there was a little more dough than we had expected so I finished baking up the rest?" Vegeta asked more than stated somewhat bashfully. She hadn't thought that baking or any other domestic activities could be much fun but it seems this had proved her wrong. "Kakarrotto had left when there were only ten loaves left but…" She rubbed her hand over her nose, smearing a little more flour she hadn't cleaned up yet all over her cheeks. "Um, we had eaten two each and he had taken one loaf home so…" She looked around. "So, I'm guessing we made…"

"Twenty-five loaves of bread," stated Bulma, still staring around. "What are we gonna do with even twenty loaves of bread?"

"Ah, eat 'um?" suggested Vegeta.

"Bejee! Twenty loaves is a lot to eat! Even if you ate four loaves a day, two for each meal, and my parents and I eat one each day, that's still four days! And I'm quite willing to bet that you wouldn't want to eat so much bread at once each day, so let's cut it back to only two loaves of bread a day and still one for my family and that would be almost seven days!" Bulma cried in exasperation.

"Um… why don't you calm down and have a bite," Vegeta said, guiding Bulma to the bread-laden table. "Didn't you say you'd like to try some?" Slicing off a piece of one, she handed it to Bulma. 'It's best to let her calm down,' Vegeta thought, 'an angry Buruma is a scary Buruma.'

Bulma bit into the slice and chewed on it for a bit, her chewing getting slower and slower before swallowing. "Bejee," she started. Vegeta cringed, expecting Bulma to say how horrible it was.

"Bejee," Bulma breathed again, "Bejee, this is _good_. I'm amazed – I didn't know you and Son-chan could bake so well!"

"Heh, and this is my first time ever!" Vegeta boasted, putting her hands on her hips proudly.

"Well, I guess that means you had an excellent teacher," smiled Bulma indulgently, eating some more bread. "Hey, have any of the others had some of this? This is really, really good!"

"Eh… no?" Vegeta blinked. 

"Hm… no?" Bulma looked from Vegeta to the bread and then to the clock on the wall. "It's almost dinner."

"Huh?" Vegeta blinked at, what was to her, the sudden change of conversation.

"Dinner!" Bulma jumped to her feet. "That's it! We'll show off your cooking prowess and get rid of the extra loaves in one fell blow!" Bulma smacked her fist into her other hand. "And best of all – another party! I've got some calls to make – don't touch the bread till I get back!" Bulma ran out of the kitchen.

"Okay…" Vegeta blinked in confusion after her.

~

Bulma hung up the phone and wiped the sweat from her brow, immensely pleased with herself. She had one hour left out of the three hours that she had since she had first bitten Bejee's bread – plenty of time to finish with the setting up of the tables and such. After all, not every one could set up a "dinner party" in under three hours. In roughly ten minutes the rest of the food should arrive. 

After rushing out and calling everyone over for that night – two parties in two days is a rather strange thing, after all – she ran back into the kitchen and told Bejee to get to work in cutting up half of the loaves – five into thin even slices like for sandwiches and the other five into chunks like for fondue or simple bread and butter combos. She popped a couple frozen cakes into the oven and called the pizzeria to deliver ten large pizzas (lots of different combos except for one triple cheese that Gohan and Launch liked) and to a deli for lots of specially cut meats and cheeses. She pulled out the lawn chairs and the music, the picnic tables, the string lights and lanterns, and all the rest of the stuff they had out the night before and she and Bejee spent the better half of that hour setting up almost everything – except the food, which Bulma called to confirm was on its way. It was, and now all that was left to set up the food and put the seven of the other ten loaves of bread into gift bags to be taken home. They would keep two for themselves and set the other one out on the table, just in case.

Bulma leaned back for a moment, relaxed, when the doorbell rang.

"That must be the food!" she smiled, before bounding down the stairs and getting Bejee and the deliverers to help set up the food out back. After all, with only forty-five minutes left, you have a lot to do to get yourself looking great when you start out all icky and sweaty.

~

_Ding, dong._

Vegeta, wearing a nice shirt, overcoat and slacks, walked over to the door and opened it, expecting maybe Kuririn or Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu or perhaps even Launch.

"Hi Bejee!" chirped Goku. "Meet Gohan!" He held the boy up to eye level on Vegeta.

"Hello Miss Bejee," chirped Gohan politely, who was now almost ten though still a little on the short side.

"Um… hello?" blinked Vegeta. "Ah, didn't think it was you, Kakarrotto – don't you normally ring the bell a lot or just use that Insta-Teleport thing instead? What gives?"

"Yes. It's Instant Transmission. Chichi rang the bell," rattled off Goku, putting Gohan down on the ground. "May we come in?"

"Oh, right!" Vegeta stepped back and watched as Goku, Chichi, Gohan and Piccolo stepped inside. "Uh… Eh?" Vegeta blinked up at the tall Namekian who seemed even taller now since she was a short girl.

"Oh, right! Bejee, this is Piccolo, Piccolo, this is Bejee," Goku chirped again. He seemed to be in an awfully chipper mood.

"Okay… hi," Vegeta nodded up at Piccolo who nodded back and then raised an eyebrow at Goku.

"Rather strong, isn't she?" asked Piccolo to Goku, who flushed slightly.

"Um, yeah, I noticed that too," Goku sweat dropped and chuckled nervously.

Another nod, and Piccolo swept away to the back yard, Gohan trailing behind him.

_Ding, dong_.

"Oh… must be more guests," smiled Vegeta nervously and practically jumped at the door.

"I still say she's an odd girl," muttered Chichi. Goku sighed. 

"Yes, dear."

~

"Wahoo! Look i' me! Look i' me!" roared Muten Roshi, half-drunk, as he danced around with a lampshade on his head while twirling a couple of plates on sticks. "Spin, baby, spin! Eheheheheh!"

Vegeta shook her head at the drunken old fool and pieced together another sandwich. Goku and his family with Piccolo, Tenshinhan, Chiaotzu, Launch, Kuririn, Muten Roshi and Oolong had all shown up. Needless to say that after the stunt he pulled earlier that day, Yamucha was not invited and thus Puar didn't show up.

Gohan had immediately warmed up to Vegeta and had managed to talk Piccolo to sit with him at her table. Vegeta didn't mind too much except for the fact that Piccolo kept throwing suspicious looks at her. It was beginning to get on her nerves.

There wasn't much dancing this time, it _was_ mostly a dinner party and so people were just lounging around the garden eating and chatting. And everybody was ecstatic at the fact they'd get to go home with a loaf of bread – even Piccolo, who seemed to like the taste despite the fact that he was mostly expressionless the whole evening… other than the suspicious glances, that is.

Goku and Chichi sat across from him, and Bulma was next to Chichi with Launch on her other side, and was, coincidentally, sitting next to Tenshinhan, with Chiaotzu beside him. Vegeta didn't pay attention to the others… well occasionally she'd look at Muten Roshi and Oolong, dancing like idiots off to the side. They were kinda entertaining. Mostly, however, she was just eating and kicking Goku who occasionally kicked back but usually tried to ignore it.

All in all, a rather good day, Vegeta reflected, taking another bite and kicking again at Goku's leg, and Goku again flinched but didn't retaliate. Yup, a good day indeed.

~Owari~

Today was pretty good… Um, yeah.

Sorry about the delay. I just got bored with writing for a bit, though I didn't put out some one-shots here and there.

Did you know that Piccolo is capable of eating food? He did when he was a kid – saw him eat a fish – and, in one episode – the one where he and Goku go to get their driver's license – was complaining about having to eat nothing but fish for the past week. However, he only needs to drink water to survive. Seriously, though, if you need only water to survive and are still able to eat food, wouldn't you if the opportunity is given? I know I would – I love to eat!

Yeah, I know it's pretty hard to set up a dinner party in a few hours but come on – this is _Bulma_ we're talking about. She's a genius with resources and usually the hardest person to get to come to the reunions was supposed to be Goku (unless you wanna count Launch, who I'm pretty certain the creator of DBZ kept forgetting about more often than not, and then maybe Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu.)


	15. Vegeta ½ – Chapter 14 …A Pickle!

* * *

Vegeta ½

a Goku and Vegeta buddy fic

_by_

mkh2

* * *

In "Vegeta ½," Vegeta's day starts pretty normally, until he finds himself being talked into going to China with Goku for some sparring time, whereupon he falls into the cursed springs, turning into a girl. Poor 'Geta! What happens to the poor saiyajin no ouji? Will Goku spill the beans? Oh dear!

* * *

Disclaimer: In the due course of reading this fic, one must expect that by now the reader would have picked up the fact that I do not own any of the rights to Dragonball Z and that it instead belongs to Akira Toriyama. Should you be somehow have mistaken me for the aforementioned owner and creator, I will be very, very sad and you will be in dire need of glasses.

* * *

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Vegeta ½

Chapter 14 – Piccolo's a Pickle! … Wait … Piccolo's _in_ a pickle!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Ugh, too much bread," whined Vegeta, rolling onto her side. She did _not_ want to get out of bed. Goku had warned her, much to her annoyance, not to eat too much before heading to bed. Bread was one of those heavy foods that fill you up more than you expect – and the two loaves (one for sandwiches) plus the two pizzas she had consumed filled her to overflowing. (Everyone except Goku and Gohan were gawking at her eating habits – well, neither was Muten Roshi, but he had a lampshade on his head, so that didn't count.) Curses – when did "Kaka-baka" get so smart?

Rolling to her other side, she figured it might have to do with him being accustomed to the little quirks of Earthling customs and food – especially the food.

'I'm too tired to do much,' she decided, 'so I will just stay here until I pick up some energy. This "period" thing sucks up too much energy. It's a wonder how women can do this every month!' Thus decided, she picked up a magazine and proceeded to… _vegetate_.

…

Ding dong 

Bulma opened the door, mildly surprised that anyone would come visit at this time of the day after having been out late last night. At the sight of the visitor who stood at the door, she blinked rapidly in surprise.

Piccolo stared down at the blue-haired woman with a bored expression on his face as he looked at her confused one. Once she ushered him in, he cleared his mouth, intent on getting this over and done.

"I wish to… _spar_ …with… _Bejee_," said Piccolo with much distaste evident in his voice as he said her name.

Bulma blinked at him, amusement evident on her face.

"Well, Piccolo, I never thought that you…" Bulma tittered. "Oh, just wait here a moment. I'll get her so you two can… _spar_." She giggled and winked and him, half-skipping out of the room.

Piccolo blinked at her retreating figure. 'What on Kami's green earth is going on in that little mind of hers?'

…

Bulma opened Vegeta's room with much gusto, humming "Matchmaker" under her voice. "_Oh _Be_-jee_, you have a vis_i_tor." She peered in to find Bejee lying on her stomach, flipping through "Martial Arts Monthly", hanging off the bed… in the same grungy clothes she had worn to bed.

"Oh, _no_, you are not leaving this room looking like that," exclaimed Bulma, bouncing over to the closet. "You need something much nicer than that!"

Vegeta peered over the top of her magazine. "You say something?" she yawned, having almost fallen asleep where she lay.

"Oh, not much, just that you have a visitor and you have to look _nice_," Bulma rummaged through the closet. "I think this little ditty will do just fine!" She pulled out a black dress, a blue ribbon tied around the waist. "I think it would go great with a white ribbon in your hair."

"Hey! No dresses! I don't want it, Kakarrotto said I don't have to so nuh-uh!" Vegeta frowned at Bulma. "I'm not wearing any more dresses, no way, no how."

…

"I can't believe I'm wearing another dress," Vegeta grumbled.

"You look darling!" Bulma squealed, clapping her hands together.

"Why do I even have to wear a dress anyway?" Vegeta tugged at the skirt of it. "This is even shorter than the last one."

"Well, because… Aahhh! I've left him waiting all this time! Come on, let's go!" Bulma grabbed her by the wrist, half-dragging the girl out.

"Wha- Wait! I was supposed to spar with Kakarrotto this afternoon!" Vegeta squawked at Bulma. Bulma frowned. "Um, I mean, I have a doctor's appointment. No? How about a piano lesson? A meeting with my lawyer? Anything? Nothing? Ah… what a bother."

Bulma tugged her into the living room and pushed her in front of her. "Enjoy!"

Vegeta blinked in confusion before she noticed the tall man in the corner. She walked over to him, feeling slightly annoyed that in this form he seemed even taller than usual.

"Ah, Mister Piccolo, sir?" Vegeta tried to get his attention, fidgeting slightly. What in the world would that tall Namekian want with her? Unless…

"What are you doing in that ridiculous dress?" Piccolo slanted an eye at her.

"Wha- wha- Huh?" Vegeta blinked at him, confused. "Bulma said I had a visitor and should wear something nice." 'Stay calm, Vegeta,' she told herself, 'don't let him know that you are you – remember, it's not like you are supposed to have any reason to dislike him.'

"I told her I came to spar with you," Piccolo seemed to glare even more at her.

"Oh… right. Then, I guess, I'll just change into something more… suitable." With a nod, she left the room.

Piccolo frowned. 'If my hunch is right, she should be…'

…

"Kyaa!" Vegeta shrieked as she was smashed into the floor. 'If only Kakarrotto allowed me to fly! This isn't fair!' Still weak from her cycle, with too much heavy bread still in her stomach (her body wasn't working the way she was used to), and the fact that she hadn't warmed up properly, she was getting thoroughly and soundly beaten by Piccolo.

Piccolo watched as she pushed herself tiredly off the floor, a frown on his face. 'It doesn't make sense. Not with _that_ ki signature. She shouldn't be beaten this easily.'

She glared up at the Namekian, floating over her. "Get down from there!" she yelled hoarsely, which, considering how tired she was, wasn't very loud at all. "Kakarrotto doesn't fly when sparring against me! How am I supposed to spar if I can't get near you?" Now that she was so beaten and exhausted, it wasn't hard at all to keep her ki down. In fact…

"Why is the room spinning?" Vegeta mumbled, blinking up at Piccolo. "And… two of you know? That's not fair. What are you doing?" She fell flat on her face.

…

"Stop shrieking, woman!" Piccolo bellowed, more confidently than he was feeling, that was certain.

Bulma had been screeching at Piccolo for the past half hour, ever since he had carried the unconscious Vegeta into the house. When she wasn't checking up on the girl and running her tests on her to make sure she was okay, she was swatting at Piccolo with a newspaper since she had already finished throwing her pencil cup, stapler, hole puncher and scientific dictionary (which Piccolo had to admit, really hurt on impact) at the Namekian.

"Woman? _Woman?_ How dare you! I have a name! You've known it for _how_ long now? Gah! Men! All the same! Impossible! I'm calling Goku!" Bulma raged, finally snapping and grabbing at the phone. She started to dial when she heard a crashing sound.

"Hey Bulma!" Goku chirped.

"Hello, Goku?" Bulma said into the phone. "I need to talk to–"

"Wow, Piccolo, what are you doing here?" Goku asked.

Bulma blinked and turned around. Goku was perched awkwardly on her lab table, Bejee's blood sample splattered all over the floor, as well as some spare test tubes and an IV bag, still usable, though.

"Goku!" she stared.

"Bulma!" he grinned back at her. "Hi! I'm here for my sparring session with Bejee."

"Um, that's what I wanted to call you about," Bulma pointed at her phone agitatedly.

"But, Bulma, I'm here, so shouldn't you hang up now?" Goku smiled slightly, trying not to make her snap at him; she seemed rather wound up, after all.

"Oh. Right," Bulma blinked and put the phone on the hook. "Ahhhhh….."

"Bulma!" squawked Goku, seeing the unconscious girl on the examining table. "What happened to Bejee?"

"Piccolo knocked her out!" Bulma blurted, pointing at him. "I thought he was here wanting to talk to her but he fought her really hard instead and she passed out!"

"Wha– what? But, that's impossible; Piccolo wouldn't fight some girl that hard for no reason…" Goku trailed off and looked at Piccolo for a moment. Piccolo stared back, slightly unnerved by the calculating expression on his old rival's face.

"'Ey, why don't you and I have a little chat, hm?" Goku suddenly smiled brightly, putting a hand on Piccolo's shoulder. A _heavy_ hand. Goku squeezed Piccolo's shoulder - hard.

"Right, we'll have a chat," Piccolo muttered.

"Here, Bulma," Goku turned to his blue-haired friend, "a senzu bean – give it to her and she should come around in a second. I wanna talk to Piccolo for a moment before I come and see how she's feeling, okay?" He tossed it to Bulma who caught it, barely.

Putting his fingers to his forehead, Goku IT'd out of the lab with Piccolo, leaving Bulma blinking blankly at the spot they were standing.

…

"So… Piccolo… _Whatareyoudoinghere?_" Goku hissed at Piccolo, his words jumbled together in his nervousness.

"I was curious about this 'Bejee' character. She's too powerful for an average human – even more powerful than Kuririn, but he's too infatuated with her to notice. Also, her ki is very familiar. Is she someone we know or is she a new enemy? Because, you know, there is no way someone that strong could live on the earth for as long as she supposedly has without escaping Kami's detection," Piccolo deadpanned.

Goku stared for a few minutes at him. And stared and stared and stared.

"Ah, P-Piccolo," Goku stammered, unsure of whether this was the best course of action. "Piccolo, ole buddy, ole pal… We need to talk."

Piccolo winced. He sure was in a pickle, that's for sure.

= Owari =

* * *

Okay, about the bread party – I was eating a sandwich when I had written it – actually, I couldn't quite remember the plans I had for that chapter when I recalled the "Bread Party: Bread From Around the World" bash we had back in fifth grade. Yes, that was a very long time ago, a very long time. We had at least twelve different types of bread, ranging from French bread (one of my faves) to pumpernickel to matzo… Frankly, I liked that party much more than the "Green Eggs and Ham" party, where we ate green eggs and green ham and they both tasted vile (3rd grade) or the "Lightening Cake" library party, which included tomatoes in the mix… and unfortunately the person who had made the cake didn't cut the tomato correctly so it was slightly mushy. Ew.

Now, I know I have heard some things about Vegeta being out of character – that was the idea. If she didn't get out of character enough the last chapters couldn't possibly happen, it wouldn't be funny, and frankly, when you've been a male your whole life and get pumped full to overflowing with female hormones like estrogen, can you really expect yourself to remain exactly, exactly the same as you had been personality-wise (minus the body thing?) I think not.

Yes, Vegeta has been getting scared of Bulma for years – that much is evident from one particular episode in DBZ where she ran over the guys in her rush to meet Mirai Trunks at Capsule Corp and make sure he was safe. The funniest face there was Vegeta's: he was the most scared. Watching the guys fly through the air like bowling pins out of a cloud of dust Bulma had kicked up, Vegeta still looked extremely panicked. Vegeta gravitating to Bulma in the series is natural: as Bulma is the only one, besides perhaps Chichi, who can keep all those guys in line (since it seems that everyone is trying to keep Launch's blonde alter-ego under control, she doesn't really count) then obviously she's more than capable and more than strong enough to keep him under control. At any rate, I do not think he would be able to put up with a weak-willed wife, and the added bonus of living like a prince and getting all that valuable training technology more than seals the deal.

**Note:** Wow, I had this on the back burner for a while; hope I don't disappoint you too much with this chapter. It's been a long time coming but I'm in a hurry to go see a movie so I can't do much in the ways of editing and adding on, so here it is! See you next chapter. - Mikki


End file.
